Friday, December 15, 2006

Babies of 2006 - Happy New Year!


| View Show | Create Your Own

It's like a little baby conveyor belt.
(note: these are only the babies that I know or know of because putting every baby of 2006 on a conveyor belt would be, like, impossible.)

It's been a very busy year hasn't it? When I think back on it, it feels like a lifetime of experiences. The pregnancy, the dreams of giving birth to a cat, finally going into labor and then the much anticipated start of parenthood. There have been so many new experiences that I hadn't a clue about, or did have a clue but decidedly wiped any thought of it from my brain so my little head wouldn't explode. It's just better that way. Because, as it turns out, parenthood is wreaked with scary unpleasantries, however a worthwhile endeavor it may be.

I never knew about that feeling when you think your heart just can't swell any bigger, but then it does. I never knew the roller coaster of emotions that brought about tears, cursing, meltdowns & endless fretting. And one can't forget to mention the multitude of sleepless nights, the leaky boobs, that dreadful breast pump, the mommy brain, that absurdly enthusiastic response to anything the baby does, that newly acquired giant butt, the tummy time tantrums, the butt explosions, the pee shower attacks, the childproofing, the pediatricians, the vaccinations, the stupid yet catchy kiddy songs that get stuck on repeat in your head for a week, pre-school enrolment, the colds, the teeth, the photos, first plane rides, first car trips, huggies vs. pampers & jar vs. homemade. (stay with me here)

And just when you feel like curling up in the corner and staring at the wall for the next 6 months, you get that first smile followed by many, those contagious giggles, those coos, those huge, come hither eyes, those big, sloppy kisses and that feeling that you're the most important person to someone. That, my friends, is enough to remind you that being a mom is the bestest thing. EVER. Can I get an AMEN?


Oh, Merry Christmas & Happy Hanukkah!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Santa Baby

" what the ? "

Jake's been bug eyed before, but never like this. He got to meet Santa today. We walked into "Santa's Layer" and he was completely over come by all the glittery, shiny things hanging from the walls and ceiling. Not to mention the big, red, jolly guy sitting in the corner on a throne. How strange this whole tradition must seem to him. In these photos he definitely looks completely blown away by the whole ordeal and at the same time like he had just woken up into a dream. He did actually just wake up from a nap and I'd say he handled the whole thing quite well considering. He didn't even cry once. I however, was a blubbering idiot that pretty much stood there during the whole thing waxing on sentimental about how I couldn't believe I was taking my kid to meet Santa.

Mr. McGigglesworth 2

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

8 months and 2 days



things I can do:

  • sit unassisted

  • crawl on hands & knees

  • pick objects up with pincher fingers (a relatively big milestone in the baby world)
  • hold a sippy cup

  • drool

  • slime everything in my path (part in parcel with the last talent)

  • sleep from 7pm-7am (with a small dream feed @11)
  • say mama
things I like to eat:

  • pureed veggis & fruit

  • yogurt

  • cheese

  • boiled peas

  • boiled broccoli

  • chopped bananas

  • bread pieces

  • Cheerios

  • mac & cheese
  • cats

  • mommy's hair

  • lint


favorite toy:

some random photos:




Brace yourself..

I've joined the local Moms Club *gasp*. That's right. Moms club. You know you're jealous. Don't worry, most neighborhoods have one so you to can sign up and receive your very own standard issue mom jeans and vest. Mine are in the mail!

On another note I'm having technical difficulties with my video camera software and haven't been able to upload any of the Jake movies that I have recently shot. So if anyone reading this knows about Sony handycam software bugs please let me know. In the mean time, I'll leave you with this morsel which should tied you over until we get things figured out. I'm also in the process of posting a Jake 8 month update and some photos.

Monday, November 27, 2006

what day is it?

Many of you might have noticed that on this blog, it has been November 5th, 10:18 am for a really long time. and no, I have not found the secret to bending the time space continuum. anyway, whatever was broke got fixed somehow.

Sunday, November 5, 2006

Jake's 1st Thanksgiving

It's 2 days before Thanksgiving, in other words, the day I'd been dreading for the last 7 months and a cab rolls up to the house. It's time to see what all this traveling with baby fuss is about. So we grabbed our mammoth suitcase, the pack n' play, the diaper bag, the car seat, the stroller & Jake and all piled into the cab to make our way to the airport. We were on our way to Benicia where, as Jonathan likes to say, the other side resides. That being Aunt Joyce, Uncle Ron, Cousins Rhonda, David, Danny, Ryan, Dylan & Austin, Grandma JoAnn & Aunt Kat. Amazingly, the airport/flying experience was actually not as scary as I had imagined aside from all the "oh crap, a baby" glares we received from the other passengers. Once we got to the airport & checked everything in but the baby, his stroller & diaper bag it was cake. Okay, the security point was no walk in the park but aside from standing there on the heels of my bare feet it was totally bearable. The best part was our new found pre-boarding perk.

Once we finally got there Jake had no problem wooing the family. He was his usual charming self complete with moonbeam eyes and porno lips. He got to try turkey & even received a baby doll compliments of Aunt Joyce. I think she gave it to him just to get a rise out of Jonathan. He's still stewing over that.

All was pretty much golden. That is, until the sun went down. Jake didn't take to the pack n' play (his bed) as well as I had hoped. After night number 3, I was convinced that if I searched hard enough I'd find a 3 sixes birthmark somewhere on his head. I can understand though, taking in all those new faces and loud voices must have been overwhelming. I had a few moments myself where I wanted to scream. Overall he was a trooper. The best part for us was we got grandma to babysit Friday while we went wine tasting in Napa. mmmm wine (Homer Simpson moment). We are thankful for all these things and that we now have this wonderful little guy added to this wacky family of ours (shmaltzy waltzy moment).
Find more photos here.

Happy Turkey Day!

Wishing you lots of turkey goodness and pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving.
Now go kiss your Grandma.

O-Tay!


He rode in the shopping cart for the first time the other day and was totally tripped out doing another one of his best Buckwheat impressions. I think it must have been complete sensory overload for him.

he has a new love...



it's this swing. He loves it more that anything except boobs, and his parents. My boobs still hold a firm #1 space on his list & Jonathan & I are at least in the top 5.

We went to the park on Sunday with friends Jamie and Chria. We rode on the swings, we tossed around a football, and we generally made laughable fools of ourselves as we all surrounded Jake in the swing like locust armed with cameras. We've become that which I used to loath; parents who think everything their baby does needs to be documented. Well, I still loath it, but I guess that just means I loath myself. I'll learn to accept this new place. ANYHOO, enough about self loathing, Jake had a fabulous time regardless of his dork parents.

Mr. McGigglesworth

Here he is (with a special guest appearence by Oliver the cat), cracking up at mom holding the video camera because, well, that's obviously hilarious. He loves those two fingers. They're the "best in town", he tells me. As cute as it is now, this just means sometime in the near future someone will be wearing oven mitts duct taped to his arms. erhum.



This next video not only demonstrates what a stunning athlete my son is, but it also demostrates how necessary it is for me to figure out what to do with all the computer cordage strewn about.

seven months and one day.

Jake was seven months old yesterday. He's not crawling on his hands and knees yet, but he's still moving very fast these days, like a little G.I. Joe. Pulling himself along with his arms as if he was a legless invalid. Sometimes he gets on all fours, and rocks back and forth like he's about to pounce. He'll also sometimes get on his belly and just thrash around like he's swimming. I'll tease him sympathetically that if he were in the water, he'd be there by now. He's also babbling with great animation. He's very social and happy, but also terribly willful. He'll get this sharp cry mixed together with these Japanese type sounds when he gets cross. I call it baby Tourett's. He's also fascinated with peoples faces. He likes to inspect my teeth, nose, ears, everything, every time I nurse him. The nose is always a problem.

Last night I got a nice break from mommydom and went out with the girls, Jamie and Sarah. We went to a really grown up restaurant and sampled cheese & wine among other delectable things. It was AWESOME. I felt very light (sadly not in the context of my thighs). Not being chained to an infant was like that strange feeling you get if your a woman and you've left your handbag somewhere. It was strange, but good. We actually talked about grown up things and diapers only came up ONCE in the conversation all night! I definitely think we're making progress. We ended up holding on to that table for a good 4 hours I think because none of us wanted to leave that blissfully independent feeling of being able to nurse a lemon drop instead of a baby for a change. They practically had to ask us to leave. By the time I got home my left boob was about to explode.

Today it's back to reality. I'm trying to get this house in order and I'm stressed out to the nu-nu's. Jake finally went down for a nap & instead of mopping the bathroom floor, I figured I earned a break & blogging was more important. I've come to realize we need servants. Probably several. The laundry is out of control & I opened the fridge today to make Jake breakfast and could instantly smell that something was suffering in there. I just don't have the psychic energy to deal with it today, or probably tomorrow for that matter. I think it would be easier to just move.

Wednesday, November 1, 2006

Halloween


Halloween was was a very eventful holiday for little Jake.
He was Charlie Brown.


Beer was a flowin',

girlfriends Clara (white bear) & Addie (pink Octopus) were entertaining as always,


tolerated all the paparazzi parents,

woke up next to a flirtatious octopus and had a butt drawn on his forehead.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Mama

He does this hilarious thing with his mouth now when he gets impatient. He kind of reminds me of a little baby bird.



This goes along with another new skill he's learned, consonants, Mama and Baba in particular. Sadly no Dada quite yet. I know he doesn't have any idea of what he's saying, but it still has the ability to make my heart burst when I hear it. Especially when it coincides with tears.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

1 little, 2 little, 3 little pumpkins

So last night I started a photography class with my friend Sarah and our first assignment was to take photos involving a particular color. I picked orange in case you couldn't tell by this photo. The rest of the class had better get used to Mr. Pumpkin here being my favorite subject matter. Yes, I'm absolutely fine with being that person.

note how well he coordinates with the pumpkins

Jamie also came along on my mad photo escapade and got some great Ann Geddes type photos of her daughter Clara. So adorable. I thought my head would explode from the proliferation of babies and pumpkins. It was almost too much to handle.

Sweet little Jake thankfully humored me. He was bug eyed as usual with this completely bewildered look on his face. I can't even imagine what could have been going through that little head of his.

I imagine it might have been something like, "So what's the deal? What are these things? Why am I here sitting with all these big... oooh hay!".

that's my hand trying to stop Jake from ingesting large amounts of hay.
Photo courtesy of Jamie.
He tasted it (might I add, against my best efforts) & the pumpkin too.
He wasn't pleased and he had this look of utter disappointment on his face like, "For Chrissakes, that's funny, that didn't taste like carrots." .
He got over it. He passed out as soon as we got back to the car. The excitement must have been too much for him.

Friday, October 20, 2006

almost crawling

Stheriously folks. In a matter of minutes, he'll be crawling...


I wonder if that's going to end up being his crawling style... sort of like this guy.



Hey, any excuse to insert a picture of a baby gorilla!

Lately I'll be sitting here typing away while he's over on his play mat (or so I think) and then I'll turn around only to find he's on his way over to the cat food bowl in the next room. He gets around now by sort of a roll, lurch, roll method. None the less, he's making ground. All it's really going to take is for him to figure out the whole coordination thing. The truth is he has a high chance of inheriting the gene that gives me all the grace of a, well, gorilla and if he does it won't be pretty. I think I actually crawled backwards. Sorry kid.

Given the fact that he can now cross room boundries, I know it's a just a matter of time before he wants to get his paws on all the deadly things behind the cabinet doors. So, with that in mind, I got me one of these the other day.

(This wins as the dullest picture ever taken)



This pretty little thing is supposed to keep him out of our bathroom cabinet where our toilet paper, paper towels & my unbelievably large collection of mini hotel shampoos lurk. Honestly it will probably do more good in keeping my kitty brats out of the cabinet. They like to shred. A lot.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

A Visit With Grandma & Grandpa E



We all had great fun with the Grandparents while they were here for just 2 short weeks. Jake got some QT time with them and Jonathan & I got babysitters. We actually had our second "date" (just the 2 of us) since his birth. SO NICE and so missed.
Ah well.
Jake's a lucky little guy to have such a loving family however near or far.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

This Is Your Life!


Create Your Own!

I got crazy with Rock You. Enjoy.

YEAH BABY! Chud's Swing'n New Body Bib.

Jake here is modeling his new full body bib with blue dots designed by Corey Robbins at Petite Violette which is yet another cool baby product on the A list. I can't say that the idea of a vinyl clothing excited me (at least not in this senario), or Jake, but this thing is a must if you don't want to have to change your kids clothes each time they eat. Actually it's not vinyl at all, it's made of polycoated cotton which means it's soft and comfy.

You see, his blue rubber bib ended up a chew toy each time I tried to feed him which lets just say became really, REALLY ANNOYING so I figured there had to be a better way. Plus, these days he really gets into eating. Yes, even mushy peas. And when I say into, I mean face, arms, legs and the clothing around them. It's like it taste better if he can wear the food as well.

Enter food smock. In my opinion, these bibs are pretty darn stylish. PLUS it's fully washable, portable, soft & affordable. I can even see its potential in future art projects. No more hosing the child off in the back yard. Chudley's very happy about that.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

My BoyZ

Jake in his smoking jacket (only he's not allowed to smoke) and Jonathan enjoy a friendly game of , um, not sure what. The top left looks like he's telling Jon to talk to the hand. Probably because he was just informed that it was bedtime. Anyway, they're almost cuter than this.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Guest Blogger Grandma & Grandpa


Dear Auntie Annie & Uncle Brian in Wilmslow

A quick message from Jacob to say hi !! Grandma & Grandpa say
to tell you that I am gorgeous!! They will see you on Monday if I
let them leave.

With love
Jacob

Thursday, October 12, 2006

and there it is...


We've got a tooth people... a lower left one to be exact.
It's just barely popping through, but none the less, it's a bona fide tooth.
You can't see it in this photo so you're just going to have to trust me.
More on this exciting new development later...

Monday, October 9, 2006

good times

So we attended our last baby shower and decorated our last onesie with puffy paint for the year. I won sexiest designed onesie. It was a pink polka dot bikini. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate baby showers (Please note I do not mean to offend anyone by saying this, I had an absolute SUPER time at y'alls showers.)? Even my own was like a living out a phobia nightmare and so far, I've been to about a baby shower a month starting with mine last March. It's kind of insane. I thought the one positive side of my whole shower ordeal was that I made out like a bandit. I really saved a lot of dough, or so I thought. I realize now I must have given it all back at all the other showers I've attended. ah well.

So in addition to the sexy onesie, I also gave the mom-to-be a hooter hider which was one of the coolest mom products I'd found (note I say was). I actually got myself one too and wish I had heard about this thing sooner. It works really great most of the time.

So at the shower, Jake started to get hungry and I decided to pull out my lovely new hooter hider so I could feed him comfortably and discretely amongst the other women. Jake apparently had other plans. Not sure what those were, but if anything it completely undermined my fabulous gift. As soon as I covered him up he started to flail about, his arms and legs darting around, in and out from under the hooter hider in a capsized ladybug sort of way. Meanwhile, the hooter hider had started to shift off of Jake and my now exposed boobs over to my shoulders. So now, I'm wearing a polkadot superhero cape and I'm flashing the whole room. GREAT! My friend Jamie who was also at the shower, and I might add turned me on to this product, said it looked like I was trying to wrestle an octopus. thanks kid. So much for the idea of nursing discretely in public and showing the mom-to-be how great my gift works. It was pretty humiliating. I even heard a, "Maybe he's not hungry!" remark amidst the laughter and pointing. Yes thank you keen observer, because if it weren't for you I might have possibly force fed my son being that I can't read my own kids hunger cues. I might be a bit over-sensitive about this. Anyway, after witnessing that whole thing she'll probably return my gift as soon as she has the chance. sigh.

sniff.

months alive, 6. colds, 3.
Who new these babies were such germy breeding grounds. I mean, I'm not a total idiot believe it or not. I new they got sick, just not so darn much. When I was flipping through one of my A-Z baby books the last time Jake had a cold, I read that in the first 2 years you can expect your kid to get at least 10-12 colds and more if they're in a daycare. I thought there's just no way! I'm starting to realize it's not all a myth. I've had a couple colds myself since he's been around and I never used to get sick. These babies are all carriers.

It's kind of sad too because at first I didn't believe him. I honestly thought he was just faking it and that's only because lately he's adopted this silly little fake cough that he does, well, because he can I guess. When he notices I'm paying too much attention to something other than him, he'll go, Cough cough cough and then look at me all expectantly, and then I'll go, "yes Jake honey, that's an awful cough.", and he'll look very pleased with himself. He'd then get the big, round eyes again, and go, Cough cough cough Smile cough. The fake cough will usually end about there once I've dropped whatever it was that I was doing and devoted all my attention to him. It would only start again the next time he wanted my attention.

However, this time, he's for real. He coughed and whimpered all night long. It's very sad. At 4 this morning, I dug the humidifier, aspirator and nasal spray out of their short hibernation and nursed him for a really long time. Luckily, these days I sort of feel like a seasoned expert in the handling of colds. I can now aspirate his snot, in the dark, without mistakenly giving him a lobotomy. You could also say I'm handling things a bit better these days. I haven't, so far, suffered from any major, irrational panic attacks or searched Webmd for Tuberculosis symptoms. It's nice to know we're figuring things out. So, I guess we're doing more or less okay all things considered. We're just sort of lurching along.

Wednesday, October 4, 2006

6 Months Old


Gotta love our mad singing skills...

So we celebrated the big 6 monther with cupcakes and inoculations. The latter wasn't as pleasant & that's why I felt the need for cupcakes. Not that I ever really need the excuse for cupcakes. Jake of course, asked me to eat his for him because he's watching his waistline. I however, am still eating for 2 so I, of course, accepted. Not that he needs to watch the waistline, he's only gained about 6 oz in the last month bringing him to 17lb. 12 oz. and 26 inches long. He's slow and steady hanging out right at the 75% for height and 50% for weight. He's the most gorgeous, alert baby you've ever seen. Everyone says so, and they will also always say he's got the biggest eyes they've ever seen. I seriously can't believe it's been 6 months, HALF A YEAR, since I popped him out onto this strange little planet. I just watch him with such amazement that I have to bite my lip. It completely shocks me that this wonderful little person somehow exists because of Jonathan & I. I know I'm being an annoying gusher, but I can't help it. Let's face it, I'm a convert & I'll no longer roll my eyes (or worse) at another parent for gushing...

The doctor reminded me today that in the next month he may start crawling so I need to get to childproofing. I'm so not ready that. We have so far done the bare minimal by putting some childproof latches on our cupboards, but that was really done a few years ago to keep the cats out. We have one of those homes where friends of our with kids are afraid to come over. Lots of glassware, expensive books and pointy, heavy deathtraps lurking about. ugg. I feel like I need to wrap everything in bubble wrap...even Jake.

Six months also brings about some questions one must ask themselves. Nursing for one. On one hand, I would love to have my body back and have the days of being a moo-cow finally over. Then on the other hand, I could see myself happily nursing him well into kindergarten. I seriously won't, in case any of you are really concerned. Way too Last Emperor for me. But I still find it hard to imagine giving it up. A lot of mothers would have stopped by now, and understandably so, but I figure if I can why not. He not biting me or telling me that his new professor at Harvard sucks. For now, I'm going to keep going. Like I said, why not. PLUS, I need to get priority bulkhead seating for our U.K. flight this December and that goes to nursing mums. Reason enough for me.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Barf-o-rama



Well, the grandparents wanted to see it all so here you go... Jake tried peas for the first time this morning and lucky you, you get to watch it!
Needless to say, it didn't go over very well. What a surprise.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Meeting the Mackenzie's



So, Jake's Great Aunt Frieda & Uncle Ken finally came over from Britain to meet him. Here we all are hanging out having a BBQ. You'll notice in this video, Ken is saying something to the effect of not ever washing his finger again... I'm not sure why he'd want to do that. Perhaps we better just let that go.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Current Obsessions

in no particular order...

  1. screwing around with this here blog
  2. shout wipes
  3. Jake and anything he does
  4. stuffing the diaper d├ęcor as full as possible
  5. pomegranate juice or any healthy veggi concoction
  6. making various lists ( i.e. shopping list, fitness goals, to do’s, obsessions etc. I do this so that I may itemize those things which are important to get done, to not forget anything & to quantify my life by way of these lists... and then I loose them)
  7. taking pictures of Jake and the cats
  8. Flavor of Love (it's just so terrifically bad)
  9. misdiagnosing myself (I decided not to gross you out with the details)
  10. misdiagnosing Jake with various childhood afflictions
  11. purell
  12. the search for the perfect salsa & bbq sauce (I just can’t stop buying it)
  13. making sure Jonathan eats breakfast
  14. cat hair control (they're constantly molting & IT’S EVERYWHERE which is even more apparent with Jake around)
  15. keeping Jake from doing a Jackson Pollock on our walls or me with baby food (the kid sneezes at the most inopportune times)
  16. vaccinations (good or bad?)
  17. convincing Jake that he likes his playpen & that I like it too

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The Playpen Experiment - Day 2


Well that didn't take long... looks like the navy blue plaid finally got to him.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

The Playpen Experiment - Day 1


Meet Ugly

So far, so good. Sort of.
He has officially outgrown the use of his playmat due to increase mobility (twice so far I've found him wedged under the ottoman). So in order to avoid a visit from child welfare, I decided to pull out the playpen. According to my Mommy and Me guru Sophie, if I want to contain him when he starts crawling, I'll need to put him in some sort of containment contraption before the fact, or else he'll protest the confinement.

So now, out in my living room, sits one of the most horrifically ugly baby products we own aside from the command center. Oh, my poor eyes bled just a little. I feel as though I'm fighting an uphill battle when it comes to finding (and affording) well designed baby products that fit in with our mid-century aesthetics. Most don't even come close and Jake couldn't care less. I have to admit, I've seen worse. Navy blue plaid is tolerable right? A friend of mine who writes this other blog thought about reupholstering her baby bouncer... I beginning to think that's not a bad idea. I definitely think there's a market for Charles Eames playpen slip covers... hmmmm....
The toys are ugly too. Everything is covered in bright, primary colors & patterns that, yes I know, are supposed to stimulate their brains. However, they remind me of a bad acid trip. What's so wrong with hand carved, wooden toys widdled by Amish carpenters? THEY'RE STIMULATING TOO! I'll get over it.

The novelty has obviously not worn off yet.

Oliver felt the need to inspect the new digs. As you can see, he couldn't wait to get out. The novelty has definitely worn off for him.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

How To Take A Baby's Passport Photo


Step 1:
Grab a white sheet or towel for a backdrop.

Step 2:
Lie baby down on sheet or towel.

Step 3:
Position baby so that he or she is looking right at you, head is straight forward and has a neutral expression.

Step 4:
Stand over baby and take photo.

Step 5:
Repeat step 4 if necessary.

Step 6:
Retrieve baby from across the room & place back on towel.

Step 7:
Repeat step 4.

Step 8:
Pull baby's feet out of his or her mouth.

Step 9:
Repeat step 4.

Step 10:
Pull towel out of baby's grip & straighten it out on the floor & place baby back onto towel.

Step 11:
Roll baby back onto his or her back.

Step 12:
Repeat step 4.

Step 13:
Ask baby kindly to stop giggling.

Step 14:
Pull baby's hands out of his or her mouth.

Step 15:
Have a stiff drink.

Step 16:
Take a deep breath & repeat step 4......

Thursday, September 21, 2006

It's a Chudley Sandwich!

Exhibit A

Just in case you still had any doubt in your mind that we are the biggest dorks on earth - here is Exhibit A. I don't know what possessed us. Well, I do really, it was those darn cheeks. They're pure, squishy, kissable goodness. You'd do the same thing if you could...

Jake's Buddy Beckett

This is Chud's little buddy Thomas Beckett Gates, born last July. I'm sure they're scheming some naughty shenanigan in this photo...
"Hey Beckett, you distract them while I grab the keys, and then we'll make a break for it."
I swear I thought I overheard something about righteous babes and margaritas...

Monday, September 18, 2006

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Welcome To The World

Looks like Jake has himself ANOTHER little girlfriend...
Happy Birthday Clara Joan Hazlitt.
Born today at 2:55 p.m.
a healthy 6 lbs. 3.5 oz.


Friday, September 15, 2006

SuperMom Action Figure





This is genius. I especially love that she comes with 3 heads that are interchangable; calm, frazzled & crazy. I sometimes wish I came with that option.



Thursday, September 14, 2006

Kitty Friends

He loves our cats Oliver and Blue more than anything except for me, daddy and my boobs. He's completely fascinated by the cats and just stares at them in this sort of ecstatic trance. Just like the little boy in E.T. when he and E.T. first met. At first, the cats weren't sure if they liked him or not. They just kept their distance and I think assumed we'd come to our senses and send him back. Now however, it seems like they've realized he's part of the package and ain't going nowhere. The other day I caught Oliver licking Jake's ears when he was on his playmat which of course made me totally beside myself. They'll also usually put up with him when he starts grabbing a fistfulls of their hair and flesh. I was expecting a horrific slasher type of scene when he first started to grab at them, but they just seem to take it in their stride. I know that even though they act like big tough guys and allow him to mangle their fur, it hurts. He does it to me too only I get big hickeys from him that make up for it. I was holding him in front of me this morning and he suddenly thought it would be fun to grab two big clumps of hair on either side of my head and lay a big, wet hicky on my chin. I was trapped in his grip for the better part of 5 minutes. It was like being attacked by one of those alien face suckers only it made me laugh hysterically. He was right I guess, it was sort of fun. So anyway, I try to tell him to be gentle or else he'll be sorry & of course he totally understands and always does exactly what I say. He'll learn his lesson one of these days I'm afraid. Every kid does when they've got cats to contend with. For now, they just look at him with these resentful little faces that seem to say, "I'm nice now kid because if I'm not, in a few years you might try to stuff me in the dryer or dress me in your baby clothes.".

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Happy 3rd Anniversary To Us


Today is our 3rd anniversary and we're going to celebrate by chowing down on Bristol Farms take out (fancy) after Jake goes to bed and watch Pwoject Wunway (that's how it's pronounced!). My how times have changed. Cheers!

orange colored poo

Jake eats rice cereal and I alternate between sweet potatoes and bananas every day now. He makes these fantasic, bright orange poops on sweet potato days. Or, I guess I should say the day after sweet potato days. I’m determined that he’s going to like veggies and not take after his daddy in his veggiphobe ways. I even bought him a stuffed carrot toy in hopes that he’ll gain some sort of positive association with it. Except for if he ends up palling around with it too much, he might find eating carrots murderous.

teeth and school

So I think Jake is teething. He’s as drooly as a Boxer and everything gets gummed to death. Even the cats. He has a teething ring the he works his way around with a kind of frantic joy. He’s also having crying fits every other hour throughout the night which is shitty to say the least. So, on a mission to help his gums and my exhausted self to get some more sleep than the 4 hours I got last night, I headed off to the nearest Whole Foods market to get these holistic teething tablets that a friend of mine swears by. They’re basically sugar with a dash of belladonna to help him sleep I assume. My only concern is what if he develops a shining to it in a John Belushi sort of way and I have to start hiding it in the hamper from him…

Jake is also officially on the waiting list for preschool. It amazes me that you have to sign up 5 month old babies for preschool these days. I was tipped off by a friend in the M/M class that there was a long waiting list at this private Lutheran school down the street from us so I marched down there yesterday in frantic, panic mode ready to enroll Jake. The woman who handles the tours at the school, I could tell was a bit taken a back by how eager I was to sign on the dotted line. We’re not Lutheran or really all that religious, but I wasn't a bit conflicted as to whether or not he should go to a religious school. I seriously see a void when it comes to macaroni Bible story art in my life. Let's face it, here in L.A. you can really loose track of what important and get swept up in the inane material madness of it all. That’s what scares me about raising a kid in L.A.. Most of the public schools are too scary for words, and most secular private schools are too uber and pretentious. A friend of ours sends their kid to Crossroads, one of those uber schools, and a child there who was joining her kid for an after school play date actually didn’t want to get in her car because it wasn’t the “right” car. What kind of messed up crap is that? I’d move to some pathetic, little town in Nebraska if it meant I'd keep him from becoming that sad & jaded. Raising a well adjusted child is no small feat these days. It’s so incredibly ludicrous. It’s so incredibly scary. I now know the heartache my parents went through. My poor, poor mother. Imagine trying to raise a teen age daughter in Hollywood on your own. She’s my hero.

Anyway, I'm sure he'll turn out fine no matter what school he goes to. We'll probably mess him up enough on our own.

Monday, September 11, 2006

banana boy



So the food adventure continues... There was a little gagging, but for the most part I think he really likes bananas. I always suspected he was part monkey.

Thursday, September 7, 2006

Monday, September 4, 2006

Five Months on Earth

Another Birthday. He's 5 months old today. We decided to celebrate by getting those little toes all salty and wet.



This was his first time at the beach and I think he was a bit overwhelmed by it all. He was so bug eyed and crazed he looked like Buckwheat. I had it in my head for some reason that a full day at the beach with Jake wouldn't be that tall of an order. In reality, the whole outing lasted about an hour and a half. I think we could've camped there for a week with the amount of crap we brought with us. None of that mattered though. Once he had enough he let the entire beach know by having a screaming fit. So we packed up the mule (Jonathan) and left.
He passed out as soon as we got back to the car.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Jake's Starship Command Center



Here he is in his starship command center (the ugliest thing ever invented) where he’s busily hashing out the details of his plan for world peace. I swear I keep hearing something like “no mo W.” What a smart little baby.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The Sad, Little Red Nose

sneeze - aw...

sneeze, sneeze - huh?

sneeze, sneeze, sneeze - oh crap.

Jake has a cold, AND it's his second cold this summer and this life. I'm guessing he caught it in the mommy/me class from another little germy brat, but that's just speculation. At any rate, he's definitely got something and the next few days are going to be a living hell. It's probably just a matter of time before both Jonathan & I have it too, & then we're in a situation where it just gets recycled over and over again. I seem to remember his M/M "teacher" sniffling - DAMN HER THAT SILLY WOMAN!

He's miserable, his little nose is bright red & we're up to our armpits in snot. He doesn't have the energy to cry so he just lays there and lets out this stuffy little whimper with great concern, a couple of coughs and then will look at me all quiet and tragic, and I'll say in a very dramatic fashion, "We're going to fight this together!". I suddenly feel like Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman because I've got the humidifier whirring away, nasal sprays, snot rags and aspirators littering his crib all the while he snores like 300 lb. wino. Oh the drama...

As soon as I heard him have his first sneezing fit, time seemed to stand still and it was like I got shot straight in the heart with adrenaline. I kept having these silly, irrational thoughts of him strapped up in a hermetically sealed tank with tubes coming out of everywhere because he contracted whooping cough or some other rare childhood plague that I can't pronounce. I worry because, like I mentioned before, it's his second cold & maybe his immune system is lacking in some way or maybe I'm just not living up to my end of the deal in keeping him in a germ free, sanitized environment. I kinda always had this theory that if they have contact with reasonable amounts dirt and germs, the garden variety you might find on the living room floor, they'd be able to build these healthy immune systems. It's not like I have him rolling around on the floor in Target or rummaging through dumpsters for hypodermic needles. At least not in the last few weeks...

AND then there's the other side of me, the obsessive germaphobe that wants to tape the windows shut, buy an air purifier & a baby size biohazard suit so that nothing, not even a dust mite might touch his pure and fragile little body. I really need to get a grip, I know. As a first time mother, I think you can have the tendancy to exaggerate the situation in your head a little.

Sometimes I have to just remind myself to stop being a dumb ass &:
1. it's just a cold, babies get colds
2. we can handle this
3. I'm just as good a mother as the next obsessive-compulsive paranoiac.

I'm fine, really. Jake's fine too, a bit snotty, but fine. cough.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Dapper in a Diaper


These are a few proofs from a recent photo shoot we had with Jake. He was about 3 1/2 months old at the time. It's funny because Jonathan & I have always wondered what Jake might look like as an adult. It's really hard to tell because day to day you just can't see beyond his chunky babyness, but in these photos he looks so mature. So soulfull. You can almost get a glimps of what a handsome man he will oneday be.