Saturday, September 30, 2006

Barf-o-rama



Well, the grandparents wanted to see it all so here you go... Jake tried peas for the first time this morning and lucky you, you get to watch it!
Needless to say, it didn't go over very well. What a surprise.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Meeting the Mackenzie's



So, Jake's Great Aunt Frieda & Uncle Ken finally came over from Britain to meet him. Here we all are hanging out having a BBQ. You'll notice in this video, Ken is saying something to the effect of not ever washing his finger again... I'm not sure why he'd want to do that. Perhaps we better just let that go.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Current Obsessions

in no particular order...

  1. screwing around with this here blog
  2. shout wipes
  3. Jake and anything he does
  4. stuffing the diaper décor as full as possible
  5. pomegranate juice or any healthy veggi concoction
  6. making various lists ( i.e. shopping list, fitness goals, to do’s, obsessions etc. I do this so that I may itemize those things which are important to get done, to not forget anything & to quantify my life by way of these lists... and then I loose them)
  7. taking pictures of Jake and the cats
  8. Flavor of Love (it's just so terrifically bad)
  9. misdiagnosing myself (I decided not to gross you out with the details)
  10. misdiagnosing Jake with various childhood afflictions
  11. purell
  12. the search for the perfect salsa & bbq sauce (I just can’t stop buying it)
  13. making sure Jonathan eats breakfast
  14. cat hair control (they're constantly molting & IT’S EVERYWHERE which is even more apparent with Jake around)
  15. keeping Jake from doing a Jackson Pollock on our walls or me with baby food (the kid sneezes at the most inopportune times)
  16. vaccinations (good or bad?)
  17. convincing Jake that he likes his playpen & that I like it too

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The Playpen Experiment - Day 2


Well that didn't take long... looks like the navy blue plaid finally got to him.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

The Playpen Experiment - Day 1


Meet Ugly

So far, so good. Sort of.
He has officially outgrown the use of his playmat due to increase mobility (twice so far I've found him wedged under the ottoman). So in order to avoid a visit from child welfare, I decided to pull out the playpen. According to my Mommy and Me guru Sophie, if I want to contain him when he starts crawling, I'll need to put him in some sort of containment contraption before the fact, or else he'll protest the confinement.

So now, out in my living room, sits one of the most horrifically ugly baby products we own aside from the command center. Oh, my poor eyes bled just a little. I feel as though I'm fighting an uphill battle when it comes to finding (and affording) well designed baby products that fit in with our mid-century aesthetics. Most don't even come close and Jake couldn't care less. I have to admit, I've seen worse. Navy blue plaid is tolerable right? A friend of mine who writes this other blog thought about reupholstering her baby bouncer... I beginning to think that's not a bad idea. I definitely think there's a market for Charles Eames playpen slip covers... hmmmm....
The toys are ugly too. Everything is covered in bright, primary colors & patterns that, yes I know, are supposed to stimulate their brains. However, they remind me of a bad acid trip. What's so wrong with hand carved, wooden toys widdled by Amish carpenters? THEY'RE STIMULATING TOO! I'll get over it.

The novelty has obviously not worn off yet.

Oliver felt the need to inspect the new digs. As you can see, he couldn't wait to get out. The novelty has definitely worn off for him.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

How To Take A Baby's Passport Photo


Step 1:
Grab a white sheet or towel for a backdrop.

Step 2:
Lie baby down on sheet or towel.

Step 3:
Position baby so that he or she is looking right at you, head is straight forward and has a neutral expression.

Step 4:
Stand over baby and take photo.

Step 5:
Repeat step 4 if necessary.

Step 6:
Retrieve baby from across the room & place back on towel.

Step 7:
Repeat step 4.

Step 8:
Pull baby's feet out of his or her mouth.

Step 9:
Repeat step 4.

Step 10:
Pull towel out of baby's grip & straighten it out on the floor & place baby back onto towel.

Step 11:
Roll baby back onto his or her back.

Step 12:
Repeat step 4.

Step 13:
Ask baby kindly to stop giggling.

Step 14:
Pull baby's hands out of his or her mouth.

Step 15:
Have a stiff drink.

Step 16:
Take a deep breath & repeat step 4......

Thursday, September 21, 2006

It's a Chudley Sandwich!

Exhibit A

Just in case you still had any doubt in your mind that we are the biggest dorks on earth - here is Exhibit A. I don't know what possessed us. Well, I do really, it was those darn cheeks. They're pure, squishy, kissable goodness. You'd do the same thing if you could...

Jake's Buddy Beckett

This is Chud's little buddy Thomas Beckett Gates, born last July. I'm sure they're scheming some naughty shenanigan in this photo...
"Hey Beckett, you distract them while I grab the keys, and then we'll make a break for it."
I swear I thought I overheard something about righteous babes and margaritas...

Monday, September 18, 2006

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Welcome To The World

Looks like Jake has himself ANOTHER little girlfriend...
Happy Birthday Clara Joan Hazlitt.
Born today at 2:55 p.m.
a healthy 6 lbs. 3.5 oz.


Friday, September 15, 2006

SuperMom Action Figure





This is genius. I especially love that she comes with 3 heads that are interchangable; calm, frazzled & crazy. I sometimes wish I came with that option.



Thursday, September 14, 2006

Kitty Friends

He loves our cats Oliver and Blue more than anything except for me, daddy and my boobs. He's completely fascinated by the cats and just stares at them in this sort of ecstatic trance. Just like the little boy in E.T. when he and E.T. first met. At first, the cats weren't sure if they liked him or not. They just kept their distance and I think assumed we'd come to our senses and send him back. Now however, it seems like they've realized he's part of the package and ain't going nowhere. The other day I caught Oliver licking Jake's ears when he was on his playmat which of course made me totally beside myself. They'll also usually put up with him when he starts grabbing a fistfulls of their hair and flesh. I was expecting a horrific slasher type of scene when he first started to grab at them, but they just seem to take it in their stride. I know that even though they act like big tough guys and allow him to mangle their fur, it hurts. He does it to me too only I get big hickeys from him that make up for it. I was holding him in front of me this morning and he suddenly thought it would be fun to grab two big clumps of hair on either side of my head and lay a big, wet hicky on my chin. I was trapped in his grip for the better part of 5 minutes. It was like being attacked by one of those alien face suckers only it made me laugh hysterically. He was right I guess, it was sort of fun. So anyway, I try to tell him to be gentle or else he'll be sorry & of course he totally understands and always does exactly what I say. He'll learn his lesson one of these days I'm afraid. Every kid does when they've got cats to contend with. For now, they just look at him with these resentful little faces that seem to say, "I'm nice now kid because if I'm not, in a few years you might try to stuff me in the dryer or dress me in your baby clothes.".

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Happy 3rd Anniversary To Us


Today is our 3rd anniversary and we're going to celebrate by chowing down on Bristol Farms take out (fancy) after Jake goes to bed and watch Pwoject Wunway (that's how it's pronounced!). My how times have changed. Cheers!

orange colored poo

Jake eats rice cereal and I alternate between sweet potatoes and bananas every day now. He makes these fantasic, bright orange poops on sweet potato days. Or, I guess I should say the day after sweet potato days. I’m determined that he’s going to like veggies and not take after his daddy in his veggiphobe ways. I even bought him a stuffed carrot toy in hopes that he’ll gain some sort of positive association with it. Except for if he ends up palling around with it too much, he might find eating carrots murderous.

teeth and school

So I think Jake is teething. He’s as drooly as a Boxer and everything gets gummed to death. Even the cats. He has a teething ring the he works his way around with a kind of frantic joy. He’s also having crying fits every other hour throughout the night which is shitty to say the least. So, on a mission to help his gums and my exhausted self to get some more sleep than the 4 hours I got last night, I headed off to the nearest Whole Foods market to get these holistic teething tablets that a friend of mine swears by. They’re basically sugar with a dash of belladonna to help him sleep I assume. My only concern is what if he develops a shining to it in a John Belushi sort of way and I have to start hiding it in the hamper from him…

Jake is also officially on the waiting list for preschool. It amazes me that you have to sign up 5 month old babies for preschool these days. I was tipped off by a friend in the M/M class that there was a long waiting list at this private Lutheran school down the street from us so I marched down there yesterday in frantic, panic mode ready to enroll Jake. The woman who handles the tours at the school, I could tell was a bit taken a back by how eager I was to sign on the dotted line. We’re not Lutheran or really all that religious, but I wasn't a bit conflicted as to whether or not he should go to a religious school. I seriously see a void when it comes to macaroni Bible story art in my life. Let's face it, here in L.A. you can really loose track of what important and get swept up in the inane material madness of it all. That’s what scares me about raising a kid in L.A.. Most of the public schools are too scary for words, and most secular private schools are too uber and pretentious. A friend of ours sends their kid to Crossroads, one of those uber schools, and a child there who was joining her kid for an after school play date actually didn’t want to get in her car because it wasn’t the “right” car. What kind of messed up crap is that? I’d move to some pathetic, little town in Nebraska if it meant I'd keep him from becoming that sad & jaded. Raising a well adjusted child is no small feat these days. It’s so incredibly ludicrous. It’s so incredibly scary. I now know the heartache my parents went through. My poor, poor mother. Imagine trying to raise a teen age daughter in Hollywood on your own. She’s my hero.

Anyway, I'm sure he'll turn out fine no matter what school he goes to. We'll probably mess him up enough on our own.

Monday, September 11, 2006

banana boy



So the food adventure continues... There was a little gagging, but for the most part I think he really likes bananas. I always suspected he was part monkey.

Thursday, September 7, 2006

Monday, September 4, 2006

Five Months on Earth

Another Birthday. He's 5 months old today. We decided to celebrate by getting those little toes all salty and wet.



This was his first time at the beach and I think he was a bit overwhelmed by it all. He was so bug eyed and crazed he looked like Buckwheat. I had it in my head for some reason that a full day at the beach with Jake wouldn't be that tall of an order. In reality, the whole outing lasted about an hour and a half. I think we could've camped there for a week with the amount of crap we brought with us. None of that mattered though. Once he had enough he let the entire beach know by having a screaming fit. So we packed up the mule (Jonathan) and left.
He passed out as soon as we got back to the car.