So we attended our last baby shower and decorated our last onesie with puffy paint for the year. I won sexiest designed onesie. It was a pink polka dot bikini. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate baby showers (Please note I do not mean to offend anyone by saying this, I had an absolute SUPER time at y'alls showers.)? Even my own was like a living out a phobia nightmare and so far, I've been to about a baby shower a month starting with mine last March. It's kind of insane. I thought the one positive side of my whole shower ordeal was that I made out like a bandit. I really saved a lot of dough, or so I thought. I realize now I must have given it all back at all the other showers I've attended. ah well.
So in addition to the sexy onesie, I also gave the mom-to-be a hooter hider which was one of the coolest mom products I'd found (note I say was). I actually got myself one too and wish I had heard about this thing sooner. It works really great most of the time.
So at the shower, Jake started to get hungry and I decided to pull out my lovely new hooter hider so I could feed him comfortably and discretely amongst the other women. Jake apparently had other plans. Not sure what those were, but if anything it completely undermined my fabulous gift. As soon as I covered him up he started to flail about, his arms and legs darting around, in and out from under the hooter hider in a capsized ladybug sort of way. Meanwhile, the hooter hider had started to shift off of Jake and my now exposed boobs over to my shoulders. So now, I'm wearing a polkadot superhero cape and I'm flashing the whole room. GREAT! My friend Jamie who was also at the shower, and I might add turned me on to this product, said it looked like I was trying to wrestle an octopus. thanks kid. So much for the idea of nursing discretely in public and showing the mom-to-be how great my gift works. It was pretty humiliating. I even heard a, "Maybe he's not hungry!" remark amidst the laughter and pointing. Yes thank you keen observer, because if it weren't for you I might have possibly force fed my son being that I can't read my own kids hunger cues. I might be a bit over-sensitive about this. Anyway, after witnessing that whole thing she'll probably return my gift as soon as she has the chance. sigh.