Tuesday, March 10, 2009

that damn cake...

That silly, runny, melty chocolate Catastrophe (w/ a capital C). For some reason, I always have problems when it comes to the cakes. Cookies, on the other hand, no problem. And muffins, shmuffins. Cakes just hate me... all of them. I think this one in particular was possessed. It had it out for me and was not going to let anything but failure and tears prevail.

This all started due to a certain guilt for not throwing Chloe a proper 1st birthday party and I decided my only redemption would be a homemade cake.... and not just one cake, ooooh NOOO, TWO CAKES. One nice little pink cake just for Chloe to systematically decimate, and one man size chocolate cake for the rest of us to decimate. I was convinced that if I didn't make her a homemade cake, she'd hate me for the rest of her days.

So I went out earlier this week on a mission. I planned and planned, what colors, what design, what size and invested a small fortune in a cake decorating kit. The kind with far more cake paraphernalia than even Martha Stewart would ever need. It was to be pink, pale rosy pink & with butterflies and flowers.

So today, by the time I finally got around to baking, I was already a little out of my mind. I had been running around all morning, getting the rest of the ingredients that I needed and finally got the kids down for their naps. For both cakes, I decided to go with box mix because I'm not totally crazy, yet crazy enough to think that changing a box recipe to make it taste more homemade was completely sane. By the time the big cakes came out of the oven and had cooled for a few minutes, it looked as if someone had let the air out of them. Okay, no biggy... I'll just put the sunken ends on the inside of the cake. Now we just need to frost which will cover that little mishap up nicely. Easy right? HA HAA HAAAAA HAAA. urg.

At least Chloe's looked good and I mean looked in the loosest sense of the word. First, I mixed up the frosting for the big cakes and I decided, hey, why not add a little coffee to the chocolate frosting... I've seen that done before on one of those Food Network shows and it just so happened that we had some leftover coffee from this morning. However, for some reason it didn't dawn on me that doing this might change the consistency of the frosting to pudding. And it did. I thought, hey, no problem, it'll set after a while....


one hour later...

It was sad, oozing, lopsided and sliding off to the left. No matter how much I kept scraping up the frosting that was puddling at the bottom back up and shoving the top cake back on center, it kept sliding and oozing. The cake was not going to get the better of me! Only, it kind of was. It laughed at me as I tried in vain to make it obey. Sadly, the cake had won.

As I started to realize my failure and was weeping and cursing and ready to punch the effen cake, my mom came in from the other room and asked, "what's happening here, can I help you?". Um, yes, there is a gun in the garage and.... She decided the only thing to do was to run out to pick up some Duncan Hines frosting. I always hate admitting it when she's right. She spent the next hour talking me down from a ledge, scraped off the sad frosting and re-frosting with the store bought stuff.

Behold, it held. That poster in the background speaks volumes.


And finally (smirk), Chloe's cake was another story. While it wasn't runny, it was hotter than hot pink. Not quite what I was going for.


The final result... ok I went a bit nuts. Um, no, I'm not back on the meds. Why do you ask?

All I can say is, I've got a really snazzy cake decorating kit if anyone wants to buy it.

1 comment:

Pierce-ville said...

did you sell some ads or do my eyes deceive me?