chudleyvision.

United States of ....

2011-06-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

Since starting my research on the United States and it's ties to Theosophy, Freemasonry, the Bavarian Illuminati and Western Occultism & how they all seem to be rooted in Hermetic teachings (Hermes, Thoth, Enoch, Mercury), I was amazed by the symbolism hidden in plain sight at our own nations capital and other iconic places. Our fore fathers who designed the layout of our capital, who decided on certain symbols to be incorporated, did so in a manner that was in line with pagan beliefs as mentioned above. The interesting thing about that is that its design is eerily similar to the Christian capitol of the world, the Vatican, which like the US Capitol, is designed to honor certain Pagan gods, and due to the layout, possess alchemic properties.

The U.S. Capitol

Thomas Horn, whom I think has done an incredible job of explaining this in his book Apollyon Rising, explains further:

Unrecognized by the vast majority of peoples around the world is the greatest conspiracy of all time, sitting right out in the open in Washington DC and at the Vatican. It is an ancient, magical, talismanic diagram—the Lost Symbol—based on the history and cult of Isis, Osiris, Horus, and the prophecy of the deity’s return.

The primeval concept was designed in antiquity for the express purpose of regeneration, resurrection, and apotheosis, for deity incarnation from the underworld to earth’s surface through union of the respective figures—the Dome (ancient structural representation of the womb of Isis) and the Obelisk (ancient representation of the erect male phallus of Osiris)….

Washington Dome facing Obelisk

Vatican Dome facing Obelisk

In ancient times, the Obelisk represented the god Osiris’ "missing" male organ, which Isis was not able to find after her husband/brother was slain and chopped into fourteen pieces by Seth. Isis replaced the missing organ with an Obelisk and magically impregnated herself with Horus, the resurrected Osiris. This legend formed the core of Egyptian cosmology and was fantastically venerated on the most imposing scale throughout all of Egypt by towering Obelisks, including at Karnak where the upright Obelisks (of Osiris) were "vitalized" or "stimulated" from the energy of the masturbatory Sun god Ra shining down upon them. Modern people, especially in America, may view these symbols as profane or pornographic, but they were in fact ritualized objects the ancients believed could produce tangible reactions, properties, or "manifestations" within the material world. The Obelisk and Dome as imitations of the deities’ male and female reproductive organs could, through government representation, invoke into existence the being or beings symbolized by them. This is why inside the temple or Dome, temple prostitutes representing the human manifestation of the goddess were also available for ritual sex as a form of imitative magic…

Through such imitative sex, the Dome and Obelisk became "energy receivers" capable of assimilating Ra’s essence from the rays of the sun, which in turn drew forth the "seed" of the underworld Osiris. The seed of the dead deity would, according to the supernaturalism, transmit upward from out of the underworld through the base (testes) of the Obelisk and magically ejaculate from the tower’s head into the womb (Dome) of Isis. In this way, Osiris could be "born again" or reincarnated as Horus over and over….

In Washington, the Obelisk built by Freemasons and dedicated to America’s first president stands near the west end of the National Mall. It is the tallest Obelisk of its kind in the world, at 6,660 inches high (555 feet) and 666 inches wide (55.5 feet) along each side at the base….

In Egypt, where raising Osiris to life through these magical constructs was perfected, Pharaoh served as the "fit extension" for the reborn god to take residence in as the "sex act" was ritualized at the site of the largest religious structure ever built—the temple of Amun-Ra at Karnak where Pharaoh became the receptacle of the spirit of Osiris during the festival of Opet. The festival was held at the temple of Luxor, where the Pharaoh entered the holy womb-temple beyond the Obelisk and was transmogrified into the living deity, the son of Amun-Ra and Osiris. From then forward, Pharaoh was considered the incarnation of the god Horus (resurrected Osiris) during his lifetime, and in death experienced apotheosis again, becoming Osiris in the underworld, the dying and resurrecting god, a cycle repeated with every newly appointed king.

Thus Pharaoh was—just as the god ciphered on the Great Seal of the United States will be—the son and spiritual incarnation of the Supreme Deity.

If you still have any doubts that our fore fathers were pagans and believed they were themselves supreme deities, have a look at the freeze at the top of "Isis womb" a.k.a. the Capitol Dome.

"The Apotheosis of Washington"

In this freeze, Washington is depicted as a reincarnated god in the company of other pagan gods, Minerva, Zeus, Vulcan, Neptune and Ceres. On Washington's left sits Victory, blowing a horn and on his right is Liberty (more later on why this is important). The freeze also happens to be surrounded by 72 pentagrams. 72 just so happens to be the number of fallen angels in the Book of Enoch. As I learn these things, I'm finding it very unlikely that the religion of our founding fathers was Christianity.

The Statue of Liberty

Beyond Washington DC is another a well know symbol for this country, Lady Liberty as also seen sitting next to Washington above. Sadly, there is a deeper, darker secret side to this so called symbol of freedom. The statue of liberty is actually the ancient roman god otherwise known as Apollo, Juno, Dianna or Lucifer. Don't believe me? Read on and be sure to watch the video of History Channels "History Decoded". Some would like you to believe that if the Statue of Liberty is in fact Lucifer, it's different from Satan, but if you ask any Satanist from the Church of Satan if there is any difference, the answer is usually "no".

The Statue of Liberty in New York harbour was presented in 1884 as a gift from the French Grand Orient Temple Masons to the Masons of America in celebration of the centenary of the first Masonic Republic.

She is holding the Masonic "Torch of Enlightenment". Also referred to back in the 1700's by the Illuminati Masons as the "Flaming Torch of Reason". The Torch represents the "Sun" in the sky.

The Statue of Liberty's official title is, "Liberty Enlightening the World".

Illuminati means to "bare light" one way to symbolize this is by carrying a torch. A torch sits on top of the Statue of Liberty, on top of JFK's grave, and on top of the tunnel where Princess Diana was killed.

Best selling author, Robert Bauval:

The cornerstone for the Statue of Liberty was placed in a solemn ceremony in 1884 organised by the Masonic lodges of New York.

The Statue of Liberty, which was designed by the French sculptor Bartholdi and actually built by the French Engineer, Gustave Eiffel (both well-known Freemasons), was not originally a ‘Statue of Liberty’ at all, but first planned by Bartholdi for the opening of the Suez Canal in Egypt in 1867.

Bartholdi, like many French Freemasons of his time, was deeply steeped in ‘Egyptian’ rituals, and it has often been said that he conceived the original statue as an effigy of the goddess Isis, and only later converted it to a ‘Statue of Liberty’ for New York harbour when it was rejected for the Suez Canal."

The goddess Isis is known by many names, including Juno.

Roman Godess Juno 735 B.C. (wife of Zeus)

Interestingly, the goddess Juno made an appearance on a Vatican coin in 1963 (notice her torch) during the period of the alleged Freemason Roncalli's Pontificate, the curiously named John XXIII, architect of the disasterous Vatican II.

From another article by Bauval:

The 'torch' analogy is very interesting. The original statue of Bartholdi destined first for Port Said at the mouth of the Suez Canal, was also to bear a torch intended to symbolise 'the Orient showing the way'. The 'Grand Orient', of course, is the name of the French Masonic mother lodge, and to which Bartholdi belonged. There is another similar 'torch' that played a strange role in the French Revolution, but of which I will reveal later in my forthcoming book "Talisman". It still is to be seen in the skyline of Paris today.

People today do not realise the power of such symbolism, and how they can be used with devastating effect on the minds of the unsuspecting masses. And this is worrying. The SS Nazi movement made prolific use of all these 'symbol games', and wreeked havoc in the world."

The Great Seal of America

As you can see on the back of the U.S. one dollar bill there is a pyramid with the All-Seeing-Eye of God, with the message, "New Order of The Ages" or "New World Order" (sound familiar?). The pyramid has 13 steps to the capstone (a important occult/Masonic number). Some say the number, which is repeated in the great seal many times, represents the original 13 colonies. Seventy two (as mentioned above) is also an important occult/masonic number and there are 72 stones.

Hall, author of The Secret Destiny of America, states,

Here is represented the great pyramid of Gizah, composed of 13 rows of masonry, showing 72 stones. The pyramid is without a cap stone, and above its upper platform floats a triangle containing the all seeing eye surrounded by rays of light....

The Pyramid of Gizah was believed by the ancient Egyptians to be the shrine tomb of the god Hermes, or Thot, the personification of universal wisdom.

The eye in the apex stone is said to represent the eye of God, or the eye of the Grand Architect of the Universe as in Masonic symbolism. Who is the Grand Architect of the Universe according to Masonic beliefs? If you're a lower level Mason it is simply God, but if you are chosen to rise to the 32nd or 33rd degree, and have a understanding of the secret mystery religion, it's Osiris/Apollo/Horus/Nimrod.

There is much more that I could get into regarding the Seal, but I'll save that for another post.

I highly recommend Tom Horns book, "Apollyon Rising 2012", for an incredible and more in depth analysis of all these things I've covered.

Many people have natural tendencies to want to disbelieve unpleasant or frightening truths.

Occultists take advantage of this. "Audacity, always Audacity", is a saying the Masters of the Illuminati have always had. Something shocking and so far out and considered to be impossible is Audacity.

People naturally feel that their leaders generally have their best interest at heart whether they be in a democracy or a government of royalty and the average citizen in any given country could not conceive that it would be otherwise.

Since 1776, our leadership (U.S. Government) has been consistently moving us toward the Luciferic New World Order. This leadership has always been working through Secret Societies, misleading us as to their true intentions.

The Beautiful Truth

2011-01-25T12:20:00.000-08:00

If you're a documentary nut like I am, you should watch this. Hailing from a small town in Alaska, 15-year-old Garrett sets out to investigate the direct link between diet and disease, and in the process he learns about world's simplest cure for cancer. If you have had Cancer or know anyone who has died or is currently fighting it, this documentary offers you both a chilling expose of the toxins in our food that are causing so much disease and an affirmation of a plant-oriented therapy that has cured cancer in many individuals.

Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up Drinking Fluoride

2011-01-15T10:32:00.000-08:00

It has been known by scientist and health professionals since they started adding Fluoride to the water of many municipalities across the United State, Britain and Australia, that Fluoride is a toxic compound to humans which include risk of bone cancer, bone fractures, thyroid disorder, brain inflammation, lowered IQ and mental functions, sterility or reduced fertility and more. Yet, 97% of Europe does not add fluoride to their drinking water, but do not have higher tooth decay rates as a consequence. The American Academy of Pediatrics even tell parents now, unbeknownst to me at the time, to not let babies and small children drink fluoridated water, get fluoridated tap water in their formula and rice cereal or children under the age of 6 to use fluoridated tooth paste. If only I had known at the time. However, it is a good sign that the powers-that-be are losing ground on the fluoride debate.

Recently, the government has called for a reduction in the fluoride amount from 1.2 to 0.7 milligrams per liter because of higher amounts fluorosis showing up in children and adults.

Story link: MyFoxTWINCITIES.com

Further, as advisors to government bodies around the world attempt to argue for forced mass-medication by adding substances like lithium to public water, we must argue against ‘forced consent’ and demand one of our most integral human rights– that no government of man can make a law to force medicate us against our will. We have a human right to say no, especially when we know better.

Solution? Get a reverse osmosis filter for your tap. We just go one and the taste alone is worth it.

America in Danger-Yuri Bezmenov-Pt 2.mp4

2011-01-14T12:11:00.000-08:00

The American Dream... Is Just That, A Dream

2011-01-10T09:25:00.000-08:00

Got Questions About 911? I Do.

2011-01-02T23:37:00.000-08:00

This post has been a labor of love for me. Those might sound like an odd choice of words, but I use them because it is out of love that I want to do this. I want to ask these questions on behalf of the people who lost their lives and their families who have still not found answers to the below questions. I have found that there is more of a climate of acceptance for discussion on 911 lately than there has been in years which encourages me to do this as well. People are starting to be open to the questions... the seemingly endless questions.

THE HIJACKED PLANES AND NORAD

Why weren't the aircraft brought down by the military?

Why did the U.S. air defenses fail to follow standard operating procedures on September 11, 2001 despite NORAD reportedly being on its highest alert status, thanks to the "Vigilant Guardian" exercise? http://cooperativeresearch.org/timeline/main/essayairdefense.html

Why did Bush calmly read to school children a story even though NORAD, CIA and Secret Service had knowledge of the hijacked planes?

THE WORLD TRADE CENTERS BUILDINGS 1 AND 2

Why did authorities not evacuate WTC BLDG 2 after BLDG 1 was hit and they knew more hijacked aircraft were in the sky?

Why were there numerous witness accounts of hearing explosions "from below level 1" prior to the planes hitting the trade centers? William Rodriguez, Firefighters for 911 truth

Why is it that never before and never since had a fire caused a steel frame building to collapse. FREE FALL.

Why buildings which were specifically designed to withstand multiple hits by jetliners as large as 767s collapsed. WTC architect John Skilling said that the buildings were meant to "handle the impact of a 707 traveling at 600 mph without collapsing.” A fully-loaded 767 is nearly identical in weight and size to a fully-loaded 707. This has been standard design practice since a B-25 bomber lost in fog crashed into the Empire State Building in 1945. http://www.ae911truth.org/

Why were bomb sniffing dogs not allowed in the WTC buildings after elevator servicing of all World Trade Center buildings had been completed on September 6, 2001?

Why was Rudy Giuliani warned ahead of time that the Trade Centers were going to collapse, as admitted to Peter Jennings, and yet didn't bother to warn firefighters or office workers upon his escape from the building?

How did barely trained airline pilots manage to maneuver commercial airlines into skyscrapers like they were stunt planes?
Why does video footage of the WTC buildings collapsing show what looks like explosions all the way down the buildings, just below the collapse line, as the building fell?

BUILDING WHAT? (Building 7)

Why did Building 7 collapse from minimal fire damage, which was not hit by an airplane, in the same way as buildings 1 and 2 did?

Why did Building 7 free fall collapse in its own footprint which only happens in controlled demolitions?

Why did witnesses and firefighters say they heard explosions prior to it collapsing?

Why was the term 'pull' is as common to the demolition world as 'action and 'cut' are to the movie world?

THE PENTAGON

How did these inexperienced hijackers pull off the incredible maneuvering, 270 degree turn at 500 miles and hour descending 7,000 feet in two and a half minutes, skimming across treetops the last 500 meters, a scenario experienced pilots cannot recreate in flight simulators?
How the plane basically disappeared into the Pentagon with no wreckage, no indication of what happened to the wing section, tail section, fuselage, luggage etc.?
Why was there no noticeable sign, when looking at the entry hole, of a plane causing it. The size of the hole and the size of the plane do not match up.
Why did the damage from the alleged plane continue beyond that which a plane typically would, penetrating 9 feet of steel reinforced concrete? http://www.scholarsfor911truth.org/ArticlesMeyer3March2006.html
Why is there no video footage of a plane hitting the Pentagon in spite of there being at least 85 surveillance videos according to the FBI from the nearby Sheraton hotel, gas stations, and Department of Transportation Freeway cams?
Why did the FBI confiscate the video evidence from the nearby locations who would have captured a plane hitting the pentagon?
Why do the five frames of video, which were the only ones released, not show a plane approaching or hitting the Pentagon?
Why did witnesses in the Pentagon claim they heard the sound of a bomb?
Why were the black boxes also destroyed, as were the others at the WTC's which has NEVER happened before or since this day?

THE INVESTIGATION
Why is it that the largest structural collapse in world history and the largest loss of life on American soil since the Civil War happened, but not one governmental or elected official wanted to know why and how this happened?
Why did it take more than 2 years for an official investigation to begin?
Why was 95% of the steel structures shipped off within 6 months by Mayor Giuliani to China to be recycled into Navy ships instead of investigated, which is destruction of crime scene evidence, which is also a felony?
Why were all the black boxes "never found" even though there were firefighters on the scene who saw the recovery of all of the 4 black boxes?
How could they not find even one of the four brightly painted and virtually indestructible black boxes, yet they were finding nail size shavings of bone and teeth of victims?
Why has there never in history ever been a plane crash where the black boxes were not recovered?
Why did the White House repeatedly try to block an investigation on 911?
Why did the White House, when finally willing to support an investigation of the 3,000 people murdered, only allocate 3 million dollars for it and yet spent 100 million dollars to investigate the Monica Lewinsky's affair with President Clinton?
Why was the 911 commission first headed up by Kissinger, who had known business ties with the Bin Laden family and other questionable conflicts of interest? (He was eventually replaced after some 911 victim's families questioned him and ask him to be removed from the investigation due to his conflicts of interest)
Why were several witness testimonies left out of the 911 commission report?
Why were 500 firefighter testimonies left out of the report?
Why was explosive residue (Super Thermite) found in the dust at Ground Zero?

THE WAR ON TERROR

Why did the Bush administration finalize Afghanistan war plans two days before 9/11 with the massing of 44,000 US troops and 18,000 British troops in Tajikistan and Uzbekistan, and in addition the call for "some catastrophic and catalyzing event - like a new Pearl Harbor," as outlined in the PNAC documents?

Why has nobody, still to this day, been charge with involvement in 911?

THE FOREWARNINGS

Why did the Sarasota, Florida resort that the Bush family were staying at have surface to air missiles positioned on the roof, the night before 9/11/01 (not standard procedure for that time)?

Why was Ashcroft suddenly made to do his air travel only by private jet, due to attack warnings prior to September 11, 2001, for the remainder of his term?http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2001/07/26/national/main303601.shtml

Why did the White House claim there were no forewarnings of the attacks even though they were warned by Britain intelligence in August of 2001that Osama Bin Laden might be planning attacks involving US aircraft, including several others and the PDB (Presidential Daily Briefing) on August 6th which warned by overseas intelligence that Bin Laden was plotting an attack on the US?

Why did some top Pentagon brass cancel their flights for September 11, the night before the attacks?http://www.msnbc.com/news/627963.asp?cp1=1, http://www.msnbc.com/news/629606.asp

THE MEDIA

Why did the media not interview the witnesses?

Why were reporters fired after saying critical things about White House proceedings post 911?

Why were certain articles with pertinent information put on the back page of the news papers while less important information put on the front page?

Why was there a complete lack of investigative journalism on 911 when this was the most important story/mystery of this decade?
Why did George W. Bush, within days of 911, allow 140 Saudi citizens, including members of the Bin Laden family, to be flown out of the US - with limited or no questioning by the media?

THE REASONS

A pretext for the War on Iraq which the Bush family wanted to happen for years

The Banks being able to finance the war

The Patriot Act

Donald Rumsfeld held a press conference on September 10, 2001 to explain how they could not track 2.3 trillion dollars in Pentagon expenses, and it just so happens that the location that was hit was where all the information and records on budgets and finances were kept.
An FBI Translator dropped a bombshell the the US had close ties to the Bin Laden family up until 9/11 for their us as control of central Asia.
The media is a highly politically influenced, corporation run propaganda machine so it would not be in their best interest to question or educate the public about the events of 911.

All these unanswered questions and yet some people still think this is an open and shut case.

It is up to us to reveal the truth. It is up to us because we owe it to the families, we owe it to the victims. We owe it to everybody's life who was drastically altered, horrifically that day and forever. We owe it to them to uncover what happened.

http://www.historycommons.org/project.jsp?project=911_project

Press For 911 Truth

Loose Change

Joy, Peace and Love

2010-12-28T11:47:00.000-08:00

Hope you all are having a nice holiday season.

recovering from a very exciting Christmas morning

new wings and all

New Elf Hats

Had an Interesting Conversation Today with TSA

2010-12-21T15:17:00.000-08:00

Every so often, I think God or fate leads you to people for a reason. As some of you may have noticed lately, I've been a bit disgruntled with how certain government agencies are conducting themselves and treating us. Namely, TSA.

Today, it just so happened that I got to speak to an ex FBI agent who is now working with the TSA, and who also happens to be a old family friend for whom I had not seen since I was seven. I recognized him almost immediately because when I knew him he was in college and hasn't really changed much except for a few dozen pounds.

Anyway, I said hi, he remembered me and couldn't believe that little girl he played barbies with was now in front of him making him feel really old. We chit chatted and when he revealed that he worked for the FBI/TSA, I couldn't help myself and joked that he was the one to blame for the new naked body scanners at the airport. He said yes and went on to explain that they weren't nude scanners, and didn't really reveal much detail. We went on to discuss:

Me, "well, I'll never be scanned."

TSA friend, "Why?"

Me, "Well, for one I don't like the idea of some low paid goon seeing mine or my kid's whozits and whatzits on what I consider to be detailed, nude images. And second, I don't want to be exposed to massive amounts of radiation. Also, are these scanners a means for collecting biometric images for a government database? I've heard speculation on that."

TSA friend, "I really don't think the scans show much detail, I don't think you should be so worried about that and plus our employees are not interested in a cheap thrill. And yes, radiation can be an issue if you fly a lot, but to avoid that you can just get the pat down then." (no response to biometrics)

Me, "I don't know what a pat down is going to prevent when it comes to someone really wanting to get something on the plane. Without preforming a cavity check you can't really stop them, can you?"

TSA Friend, "No, but I can tell you about a woman we found in Iraq who was hiding a gel explosive next to the underwire in her bra, we saw she had it but she lit it and blew herself up before we could stop her. She killed 4 other people. It was pretty sick. "

Me, "I'll bet. So, like I said, you can's really stop them."

TSA friend, "Well with terrorist like her and the underwear bomber you have to do something to protect us from them. You'd be amazed at the files that I go over every day where we've stopped some terrorist."

Me, "Well, the underwear bomber got on the plane even though the CIA knew he was up to no good long before he even got to the airport.

TSA friend, "You're right, and that just shows how the different agencies have flaws on the lines of communication. You see, the TSA, CIA, FBI and NSA don't know what the other hand is doing."

Me, "Well, shouldn't that be fixed if you really want to protect this country? I mean, if the CIA knows a terrorist is getting on the plane, but doesn't let the TSA know this, how is a scan really going to fix that? Is it true that the scanners don't detect powder?

TSA friend, "Yeah, you're right, we can't see powder, but we're doing really well with behavioral profiling and are finding those that may slip through the scanners undetected. I mean, if someone wants to shove powder or drugs up their you know what, they're going to. And we don't care about the drugs, we're after the terrorist so we believe that these scanners and behavioral profiling are the best weapons against them. The thing is, we can't really do much more because of the Bill of Rights."

YES, he actually said that.

Me, "I'm sorry, but I think that's a good thing. The Bill of Rights is there to protect the citizens of this country from such things. I find it crazy that civilians are loosing their 4th amendment rights in the name of security and yet our borders are wide open. If you're really afraid of the terrorist coming in and blowing us all up or doing some other act of terror, close the borders!

TSA friend, "I agree, the border issue is a mess and that is because the senate is full of jerks that can't get anything done and don't want to spend money on that right now. However, when it comes to rights, there has to be balance for the sake of security. Flying is not your right, it is a privilege so if you choose to fly you have to accept certain things."

Me, "So, arguably since owning my home is also just a privilege, I should accept that it could be searched with out warrant? Where do you draw the line?"

TSA friend, "Well you could just choose not to fly or get a pat down."

The conversation pretty much dead ended there aside form a few pleasantries that were exchanged as we went our separate ways. I'm really, really happy to have bumped into him so that I could get some answers to my questions and affirmations of my concerns straight form the horse's mouth. I found it really amazing that he would argue that the Bill of Rights was in the way of them doing what they'd really like to do and should do. I didn't get into it, but because of Dubaya, we're already having out emails read and phones tapped in the name of security so really tromping on a few more rights, in TSA's mind, is just necessary.

Warning: the below image may not be suitable to children

How's this for detail? When the picture is inverted you can see a near perfect image of a nude body in detail. It is important to stress that this is a low resolution image. Airport screeners will have access to huge high definition images that, once inverted, will allow them to see every minute detail of your body.

Reassurances that airport screeners won’t be able to save the images will provide little comfort to parents who know that the crystal clear image of their naked son or daughter being ogled by a TSA thug can merely be snapped with a handheld camera for their enjoyment later.

My family will NEVER be scanned and I plan to wear a bikini through security on my next flight.

Connecting the Dots

2010-12-13T21:38:00.000-08:00

What's funny (or not) is that the NY Times finally admitted that the banks are controlled by a global elite. Now there's a shocker! It's laughable. Oh, and I'm a crazy conspiracy theorist?
I find that most are still in denial about this reality.
For those of you still with doubts, here's a brief cliff notes version on the key aspects of this agenda.

So who are these elite?:

INTERNATIONAL BANKERS, TOP GLOBALISTS, HEADS OF NEW WORLD ORDER

In order of importance:

Rothschild family

Warburg family

Schiff family

Oppenheimer family

Royal Family of England

Saxe-Coburg-Gotha family

Rockefellar family

Morgan family

Harriman family

Carnegie family

Rothschild is by far the most influential, holding approximately half of all the worlds wealth. That family is directly responsible for founding most of the other families or helping them get up off their feet.

The Rothschild philosophy:

1) Law is force in disguise. Right lies in force ("Might makes Right") The right to rule lies in force.

2) Political freedom is an idea, not a fact. In order to usurp political power, all that is necessary is to preach 'liberalism,' and the electorates will give up more and more power to the conspirators.

3) Money is all powerful. Governments are insignificant compared to money. Since governments control the money, that control must be removed from governments, and put in the hands of the conspirators.

4) Any and all means to achieve the goal of world domination by the conspirators is justified.

5) The size, scope, and power of the conspirators' resources must remain hidden.

6) Alcohol, drugs, and moral corruption shall be used to weaken the will of the people.

7) Wars should be instigated and orchestrated so that both sides would be in their debt (in other words, the conspirators would gain profit and power, no matter who "won" the wars!).

8 Propaganda and control of information should be used to influence opinion.

9) Pre-planned and artificially manipulated financial panics and depression should be used to tame the people, and weaken governments, so as to ultimately form a one-world government, with the conspirators as the rulers.

The "Rothschild Formula" for NWO as Edward Griffin, author of Creature From Jekyll Island, puts it:

1) War is the ultimate discipline to any government. Survival from war becomes primary - everything else is secondary.

2) All that is necessary to insure government indebtedness (to the international banking conspiracy) is war - or the threat of war.

3) To create such a situation, it is necessary to pit two countries (or segments of one country) of equal force against one another - or to create them (the two opposing countries or segments of one country) if they do not already exist. ("Pit one side against the other, and finance both sides - so that the bankers win, no matter which side actually "wins.").

4) The ultimate obstacle to this formula is a country that is not willing to finance war through debt. When this occurs, it becomes necessary to encourage internal political conflict and/or infiltrate the government.

5) No one nation can be permitted to gain military dominance, because this would lead to a lack of conflict for power, and may lead to peace!

Owners of the Federal Reserve:

1) Rothschild Banks of London and Berlin

2) Lazard Brothers Bank of Paris

3) Israel Moses Sieff Bank of Italy

4) Warburg Batiks of Hamburg and Amsterdam

5) Lehman Brothers Bank of New York

6) Kuhn Loeb Bank of New York

7) Chase Manhattan Bank of New York (controlled by the Rockefellers)

8 Goldman Sachs Bank of New York

THE STRATEGY (a gist of it anyway)
The world will be "depopulated" by wars, natural disasters, diseases, plagues, and food and water shortages (the global elite's ultimate goal is a worldwide population of less than 500 billion). (BP, GMO's, fluoride, lithium and uranium in drinking water, vaccines containing syphilis etc... etc.... etc.....)

Fluoridation is straight from the Nazi handbook

The whole world will collapse economically (it's the only way that the global elite can get a one-world currency and one-world government accepted). The United States of America, the land of the free and home of the brave with liberty and justice for all, must fall before the New World Order can be established.

A one-world government with a one-world religion will be established. This one-world power will offer apparent world peace and unprecedented opportunities to a world in desperate need of grand solutions to profound global problems.

A one-world currency will be established and a cashless society will be setup. In order to or buy or sell in this cashless society, an individual will have to take the a type of identification like the verichip (the global elite's ultimate goal is to get everyone "microchipped"). Those who refuse won't survive.

THE FEDERAL RESERVE

The first misconception most people have is that the Federal Reserve Board is a branch of the U.S. government, it is not. THE FEDERAL RESERVE IS A PRIVATE BANKING SYSTEM. Most people believe the Federal Reserve is as American as the Constitution; however, the fact is, the Constitution in Article 1, Section 8 clearly states that Congress, not a group of international bankers, shall have the power to create and regulate money.

In 1910, a small group of international bankers secretly met on Jekyll Island off the coast of Georgia to devise a bill, which was titled "The Federal Reserve Act" to mask its real nature. This bill created a system controlled by private individuals who would in turn control the nation's issuance of money. Furthermore, the Federal Reserve Board (Fed), composed of 12 districts and one director (the Federal Reserve Chairman), would control the nation's financial resources by controlling the money supply and available credit, all by mortgaging the government through borrowing, leaving us, our country, indebted to the Fed and owning NOTHING. Think about it, you don't own your house, car or land. On any deed you are a tenant. Your property is owned by the Fed because of our government's debt to them. We are merely collateral (human resources) to the Fed, put up by our fearless leaders.

On December 23, 1913, Congress passed the Federal Reserve Act (it was rushed through Congress when many representatives were out for the holidays), giving the Fed exclusive power to create and regulate money for the United States. The Fed creates money (which is backed by nothing), loans it back to the U.S. government, and then charges interest on it, which is paid by U.S. taxpayers via the Revenue Tax Act of 1913.

The Fed receives billions of dollars in interest annually and then distributes the profits to its private shareholders. Who actually owns the 12 Central Banks of the Federal Reserve? It is estimated that 300 individuals and their affiliated corporations own stock in the Fed. These private stockholders, the global elite, are connected to a London-based international banking cabal (associated with names like Rothschild and Rockefeller), which ultimately controls the Fed. When England lost the Revolutionary War with America, the House of Rothschild planned to control America by controlling its banking system, the printing of its money, and its debt; they succeeded in accomplishing this goal.
During the debate over the re-charter of the Bank Bill in 1809, Thomas Jefferson said: "I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies... If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered... The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs."
Aaron Russo Interview by Peter Boyles (Video Part 1 of 5)
American Dictators (a film by Alex Jones)

THE COUNCIL OF FOREIGN RELATIONS
The goal of the Council of Foreign Relations and Trilateral Commission is a one-world government, most often called the New World Order. This future one-world government is being set up in the political arena by the global elite under the flag of the United Nations.

The Council on Foreign Relations (CFR), and the international banking cabal behind it, took control of the United States in the early part of the twentieth century and is now methodically destroying American and world institutions and values. It controls national governments and multinational corporations and promotes world government through control of media, foundation grants and education. The main goal of the cabal has been to consolidate political, economic and social power in its hands while obliterating the minds of the masses to establish a militaristic, imperialistic dictatorship.

A cabal is any small criminal group who seizes illegitimate power to benefit its members only, manipulating and impoverishing all other people within the nation. The very foundation of the capitalist system is based on the ideology of the cabal.

The destruction of the American mind and American institutions is now so far advanced that the international banking cabal has been able to establish a totalitarian police state without the people rising up against them.

The cabal has taken great pains to avoid publicity and recognition, to the point that most people are blind to its existence. It requires considerable powers of discernment to even recognize its presence, so hidden has been its subversive activity. Anyone who speaks of a cabal is immediately dismissed as a paranoid conspiracy theorist, lumped with extremists of all stripes.
It's clear that many people are so possessed by the current reactionary brainwashing that they will be unable to consider any of these ideas. But some people throughout the world are waking up to what's going on, and they need to see behind the curtain to the real criminal powers that manipulate human minds and destroy human liberties.

Carroll Quigley, Georgetown University history professor (deceased), in Tragedy and Hope: A History of the World in Our Time (1966), made this claim:

"The powers or financial capitalism had far-reaching aim, nothing less than to create a world system of financial control in private hands able to dominate the political system of each country and the economy of the world as a whole. This system was to be controlled in a feudalist fashion by the central banks of the world acting in concert, by secret agreements arrived at in frequent meetings and conferences. The apex of the systems was to be the Bank for International Settlements in Basel, Switzerland, a private bank owned and controlled by the world's central banks which were themselves private corporations."

"I know of the operations of this network because I have studied it for 20 years and was permitted for two years, in the early 1960s, to examine its papers and secret record."

Gary Allen, in The Rockefeller File, states that the CFR is behind the many regional government plans, which would abolish city, county and state lines, leaving us at the mercy of federal bureaucrats; and that the CFR is behind the push for "land use" controls. They want "federal control of everything since they intend to control the federal government."

By Executive Order No. 11647 on February 10, 1972, President Nixon officially abolished through regionalism the American system of government. Regionalism is the consolidation of local and state governments into large regional units and the centralization of power in bureaucratic authorities, boards and commissions, whose primary function is to administer plans and programs dictated by Washington.

Executive Order No. 11647 divided the United States into 10 Federal Regional Councils, each controlled by an appointed bureaucrat for the stated purpose of improving coordination of the activities of all levels of government. The 10 federal regions were to be empowered to control all forms of regionalism within the United States. Regional divisions supplementing the 10 federal regions include state subregions, Federal Reserve regions, population regions, and regions to control the land, water and natural resources of America. [Executive Order 11647 was replaced by Executive Order 12149, Federal Regional Councils, on July 20, 1979.]

Executive Order No. 11490 assigned numerous emergency preparedness functions to federal departments. Financing of regional governments is acquired through federal revenue sharing. Revenue sharing is a mechanism whereby the state and local governments become financially dependent upon the federal government. Pressure can then be applied to any level of state government that refuses to comply with the dictates of the regional government rulers. All but one of the 10 federal regional capitals is either a Federal Reserve Bank or branch bank city.

The goal of regional or metropolitan government is to eventually merge the U.S. into the "New World Order" (NWO): a one-world totalitarian government under the United Nations (UN). "The global elite's agenda is nothing less than the complete revolutionizing of the very foundations of not only America but the entire world. Such a plan calls for the total restructuring of planetary civilization into an enlightened one world federation in which national boundaries and sovereignty are secondary and "planetary citizenship" in the "global village" is the order of the day." - Jeremiah Project

Already, we are being conditioned to accept the loss of our civil liberties with the passing of the Patriot Act, as well as the loss of our privacy with warrantless wiretapping and tracking systems such as GPS technology in our cars, cameras, wristwatches, and cell phones.

Talk radio host Alex Jones interviewed Hollywood producer and documentary filmmaker Aaron Russo on January 29, 2007. Aaron explained that, through his growing popularity, he met Nick Rockefeller and became friends. Aaron described the astounding admissions of Nick Rockefeller, who told him that the global elite's ultimate goal was to get everyone microchipped so that they could have total control. Nick explained the New World Order agenda for absolute power, which includes a total cashless society and an "RFID chip" to control peoples' money and to track them. Nick told Aaron that "if someone got out of line, they would just turn off their chip."

Aaron Russo met Nick Rockefeller in 1998. He and Rockefeller's friendship ended before September 11, 2001. He was diagnosed with bladder cancer in 2002 and died on August 24, 2007. The following are videos of the interview Alex Jones conducted of Aaron Russo on January 29, 2007, seven months before his death.

According to Nick Sandberg ("Blueprint for Total Control," 2001) and Serge Monast ("NASA's" Project Blue Beam," 1994):
By first removing cash and then by introducing problems into electronic money systems while simultaneously promoting microchip implants as a safe and acceptable alternative, the global elite will lead us slowly into accepting personal implant technology. Samsung has invented the micro RFID which is as small as a grain of sand and it can be injected.

The phasing out of cash most likely will begin with some kind of worldwide economic disaster—not a complete crash, but enough to allow the New World Order to introduce some kind of in-between currency before they introduce their electronic cash to replace all paper money. The in-between currency will be used to force anyone with savings to spend or turn in their cash, because the global elite understand that people who have money are not dependent upon them and might be the very ones who will mount an insurrection against them. If everyone is broke, no one can fund a war of any kind; paper currency will cease to exist; this will be one of the first signs.

Like I said, if you refuse to conform to this new system you will be considered a dissenter and where do dissenters go? Why FEMA Camps, of course! Yippee!

On January 22, 2009 (two days after the inauguration of Barack Obama as President of the United States), H.R. 645, the National Emergency Centers Establishment Act (NECEA), was submitted during the first session of the 111th Congress. The bill directs "the Secretary of Homeland Security to establish national emergency centers on military installations." NECEA mandates that no fewer than six separate facilities be established in different Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) regions throughout the country for the concentration of civilian internees on military installations. These existing military installations will be used for emergency situations or natural disasters that might render individuals and families "dislocated." NECEA further proposes that over the course of the next two years, $360 million is to be appropriated for this initiative. [The Senate version of this bill, S.3476: National Emergency Centers Establishment, was introduced on June 10, 2010, where it was "read twice and referred to the Committee on Armed Services."]

In July 2009, the Army National Guard began advertising for Corrections Officers and Internment/Resettlement Specialists: “As an Internment/Resettlement Specialist for the Army National Guard, you will ensure the smooth running of military confinement/correctional facility or detention/internment facility, similar to those duties conducted by civilian Corrections Officers. This will require you to know proper procedures and military law; and have the ability to think quickly in high-stress situations. Specific duties may include assisting with supervision and management operations; providing facility security; providing custody, control, supervision, and escort; and counseling individual prisoners in rehabilitative programs.”

Once you question, dig and uncover the goings on of an operation that is behaving in a clandestine way, you almost certainly will find a conspiracy. NWO and the elite's agenda is at the core of nearly EVERY conspiracy theory that exists. That is no accident. Once you understand how they work and why, you start to connect the dots and understand the bigger agenda and how they manipulate and control us on almost every facet of our existence.

photo booth

2010-12-13T15:22:00.001-08:00

30,000 Scientist Want to Sue Al Gore

2010-12-09T15:56:00.000-08:00

This is a few years old but worth the post in my opinion.

Wikileaks: truth or fiction

2010-12-08T10:22:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well, they finally caught Julian Assange. Predictable set-up? That's is an understatement.

Hopefully, some of you are starting to really wonder who this guy is and who he really works for. Is he a cointelpro or hero? Is he a mere distraction and tool for the NSA to crack down further on internet wistleblowers? Whether the new liberal cult hero Julian Assange is in fact a “useful idiot” helping to propagate fake leaks for the Establishment, or is a bona fide covert intelligence operative, remains to be seen. His recent detention in the UK for alleged sexual abuse in Sweden is providing endless media candy which will focus on the international legal circus of these charges, and further propel the cult of personality forward. The hyped media attention seems a bit dubious to me and I'm beginning to wonder if Wikileaks is simply a corrupt oracle putting out a mix of light-to-middleweight intelligence and outright misinformation, in order to direct public opinion on a variety of issues.
My advise: be vigilant when analysing your Wikileaks. Watch for the low-hanging fruit… look but don’t bite!

Here's a very interesting take on Wikileaks... worth a listen.

Putting the No in Noel

2010-12-05T21:43:00.000-08:00

Don't look directly at Santa's eyes because he may steal your soul. On second thought, I don't want any presents....

Global Warming - Junk Science/Propaganda Machine

2010-12-01T21:42:00.000-08:00

Still believe we're warming this planet with a naturally occurring gas that has raised a mere 2.5% since the industrial revolution?
For more information about this money making/population control propaganda put on by UN (IPCC)
Go HERE

If you want to know the truth, FOLLOW THE MONEY.

The Elusive Fall

2010-11-26T23:25:00.000-08:00

Our pumpkin, "Charlie"

A VERY proud Jake with his AYSO trophies

Space Invaders!

Trick-or-treating gang of out of control sugar junkies...

and a banana.

Oh Fall, quite possibly my favorite season. Pumpkins (we grew our own this year!), creepy decorations, candy, pie, creepy decorations, giant inflatable spiders, comfort food, creepy decorations, endless foam tombstones, harvesting summer's bounty and a giant man sized banana (now there's a conspiracy theory). And before you scoff the Banana Man, his daughter, who was briefly lost during trick-or-treating mayhem, was found because she remembered to tell the people that found her that she was with the Banana. Say no more. BEST COSTUME EVER.

Mr. Banana & Snow White, what better combo? erhum.

So, back to Fall...... How could you be over already? I feel like I just put out the pumpkins and already I'm tossing them out for tinsel and Christmas music in every store. Can we at least get through Thanksgiving before the music, people?

Anyway, we started a new daunting yet fun tradition to our Fall repertoire, Soccer. We were a bit apprehensive about Jake and soccer understandably, but he did okay and even tried to make a goal during one game (video below) only to be foiled (boo). I was pretty sure we'd be lucky if we'd make it through on game without a meltdown, but alas, he proved us wrong. There were definitely games where he'd be completely preoccupied with perfecting his latest dance moves, looking at clouds or finding a ladybug, but at least he was on the field! Overall, the season was a success and he wants to play again next year.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving together and are recovering from calorie and tryptophan overload except for Jake whom I've come to accept is a pescetarian. Tomorrow we put up decorations for Christmas and amazingly we aren't the first on our block. ho ho ho.

gobble gobble!

2010-11-25T15:13:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone is having a happy Thanksgiving!

Love and thanks,

chudleyvision.

TSA - Enough is Enough

2010-11-23T19:43:00.000-08:00

Oh, and by the way, the so called "Underwear Bomber's" father personally spoke to the CIA about his son days before he boarded the plane. Did you know that?

The accused “underwear bomber” made a dramatic final call to his father that he found so alarming, the father approached Nigerian officials who took him directly to the CIA’s station chief in the Nigerian capital, sources told ABC News.
Current and former officials of the Nigerian government, including a source close to the suspect’s family, say Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, 23, called his father from Yemen with the warning that it would be his last contact.
It has previously been reported that the man’s father, prominent Nigerian banker Alhaji Umaru Mutallab, went to Nigerian and American officials Nov. 19 to warn them that his son had been radicalized by Islamic militants in Yemen.

http://abcnews.go.com/WN/bombers-phone-call-father/story?id=9457361

Why, with advance knowledge, would the CIA allow this man to board the plane? Ask yourselves this.
Look, I believe terrorist exist. Do I think a bunch of cave men with box cutters took down the World Trade Centers on 911? No.

They will NEVER grope me or my children period. It's time to put down your passports until this Nazi TSA gets our message that we will not be treated like cattle. This goes against our fourth amendment which is our right to privacy.

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

We should be secure in our persons against unreasonable searches! We are being treated as if we're guilty terrorist without warrant! If I can't touch your junk, TSA, you have no right to assault mine. There is no double standard when it comes to the law or our rights. Our right to bodily integrity is ours whether or not it's in the constitution. 53% of the people believe the government is operating outside the constitution but aren't doing anything about it! A word for how this government is behaving is called tyranny.

What now?

2010-11-22T17:03:00.000-08:00

A big question that is often asked when someone starts waking up is, what are we supposed to do?

When it comes to the idea of taking action, it starts with seeking knowledge about every aspect of this. This is why I have a new section, Educate Yourself, devoted to some great documentaries for someone wanting to learn about the truth. You have to first be aware of things before acting, as you know. Learn, learn, learn all you can as knowledge dissolves fear and an educated society is a free society.

This also means a bit of evangelizing even though you may be ridiculed since "conspiracy theorist" have a definite stigma in today's society. People who step off the accepted path and question that path are sadly sometimes demonized as rebellious, trouble makers or just plain delusional. Just know your audience and don't badger people with this. I find a blog to be a good opportunity since they can choose to read about it or not. I never want to shove this information down people's throats as everybody has their own time when it comes to this awakening process. It's hard. It shatters a lot of the beliefs and ideals you held dear so many are just content to live in their bubble completely unaware. Ignorance is bliss for some, I guess.

There are generally two routes you can take once the awakening occurs, fear or love. That is your choice, but one is definitely more productive. However, If you choose love that doesn't mean you can't take measures to be prepared by buying survival food, saving seeds or investing in gold in case of economic collapse.

Preparing for the future is crucial. This means understanding that there is a big change coming. They'll likely try to collapse the current economic system and even possibly depopulate in some manner and then out of the resulting chaos, create order. You have to understand that the chaos is of their design so we will be more willing or even thankful to them for bringing a new order. This new order will likely be a Socialist system. They are already stripping away our rights (the Patriot Act) in order to condition us. If you watch the film, Invisible Empire, you'll understand better so I won't get into it here. Mainly, the important thing is they want chaos, war, fighting and civil unrest. Once something like the economy collapsing or 911 truth being mainstreamed, chaos will ensue thus fulfilling their agenda.

We need to also show that we won't tolerate their control of the media and which control what information we get, or the way we're being treated (e.g. TSA). This is why you have to seek truth yourself outside of mainstream media sources. All media comes from the AP and this is not for convenience purposes, it's because it's easier to control that way. You can also exercise your rights by learning about your strawman , becoming a sovereign citizen and admiralty and maritime law. You can also do this simply by opting out of certain things. For example, at the airport I won't be scanned or I won't buy into their fear tactics with vaccines or terrorist etc. etc.

Beyond that, breathe, calm down, your reality has been shattered, don't panic, be thankful, know who you are, and just try to absorb and learn. Do not expect to understand all this overnight, do not allow yourself to be overwhelmed... Learn first, then you will know enough to come up with your own course of action you wish to take. We're preparing by investing in commodities rather than intangible investments that wouldn't survive the dollars collapse. We're also learning to be more self sufficient and understandably bordering on paranoia, having a "bug out" plan in case shit hits the fan here in L.A.. Again, share, share, share without fear of ridicule, thus, choosing love over fear. That will lead to their demise better than anything because once people "wake up" they won't be as malleable. Welcome to understanding what freedom really is and being aware of the chains around all of us. The Matrix is a great analogy. Welcome to the matrix.

Above is a great series of videos (5, I think) that will help you further.

we owe it to our children and grandchildren

2010-11-20T15:24:00.000-08:00

Over the last few years, I've been waking up. Waking up to the lies we've all been told about EVERYTHING. Lately I've decided to really uncover for myself this world of deception. It's been a journey, let me tell you. My efforts to further understand the forces governing the world lead me to study secret societies, mystery religions, esoteric sciences and ancient civilizations. I’ve spent the last five years researching Theosophy, Freemasonry, the Bavarian Illuminati and Western Occultism. These schools of thoughts have many things in common: they are based on Hermetic teachings (Hermes, Thoth, Enoch, Mercury), they attach EXTREME importance to symbolism and they recruit within their ranks the most prominent people of all fields of society, especially politics, law and public service. The natural result of this phenomenon is the display of occult symbolism in all aspects of society, especially music, movies and buildings. From this, I now fully understand that we've been intentionally deceived in order for the elites who practice these esoteric sciences in order to advance and achieve what they really want, world dominance. And no, I'm not talking about a Dan Brown novel.

That being said, there is a reason why occult teachings are held secret. They reveal the naked Truth without any compromise. Very few people are prepared to face those facts. As much as I would like to open the world’s eyes, I realize that this post IS NOT for everybody. If you are one of those people, I suggest you go here instead.

If, however, you’re interested in the findings of a genuine truth seeker, you are in the right place. I believe we owe it to our children. We are the ones in control, they just don't want you to know that and that's why so many of you a understandably distracted by the latest celebrity scandal or iphone. This is not your fault. They control the media and thus the news you hear is merely a smattering, maybe 5% of what the news is. If you did know, you wouldn't care about Lindsay Lohan or the latest toys you're told to buy. Luckily, there is an information revolution happening. Thanks to the internet, there are people dedicated to sharing the truth without the spin that mainstream media churns out.

Just know, once you take the red pill you can never go back to the nice little bubble that you lived in for so long. Many of you aren't willing to have that bubble popped and will sadly figure this stuff out when it is too late. Talk about an inconvenient truth. Many of you are just wondering, red pill? what red pill? That's understandable. Here is a film that will help explain all this. I highly recommend this and please watch it in its entirety. Truth wears no pride. God Speed!

Children of Tomorrow

I apologize to you
On behalf of those in my time
For the things we didn't do
We didn't stop the tyrants
So your fate could be prevented
We watched them steal our freedom
By our silence we consented
We didn't choose to circumvent
The doom you've not escaped
While the Bill of Rights was murdered
And the Constitution raped
Some of us were lazy
Others too afraid
To think about our children
The ones we have betrayed
I guess we were too busy
To be concerned or care
To try to ease the burden
Of the chains we made you wear
We could have been good shepherds
When the wolf got in the fold
But we watched the flame of freedom die instead
And left you cold

I'm sorry we were timid
My selfish generation
We left you but a remnant
Of a free and prosperous nation
I'm sorry for our actions
Like cowards we behaved
We could have left you freedom
Instead you are enslaved
Children of tomorrow
Descendants of our land
I'm sorry we allowed this
The fate you now with stand

- Anonymous

Here are some good sources for further truth seeking:

http://prisonplanet.tv/

http://www.infowars.com/

http://www.realityzone.com/currentperiod.html

http://www.sott.net/

http://beforeitsnews.com/

http://www.americanfreedomradio.com/

http://www.apfn.org/apfn/phil.htm

http://www.beyondthephysicalrealm.com/

http://tickergrail.blogspot.com/

http://esotericagenda.net/

Please also refer to the new section tab above "Educate Yourself".

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T14:11:00.000-07:00

Dorothy & Toto too, Boba Fet, Sleepy Hollow Scarecrow and check out our pumpkin!

It turned orange just in time for Halloween!

Jake at a Boba Fet convention at his Preschool

Creepy cupcakes!

fuzzy navels...

2010-10-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

I'm really sorry about the title of this post but I just couldn't help it. So I think I had one of those brain glitches at the farmers market on Wednesday and bought enough peaches and strawberries to feed, well, a lot of people. Seriously, Jon got home that evening and was like, "ok, what's up with the fruit stand in the kitchen?". I of course replied, "I'm preserving!", and Jon said, "for the neighborhood?". ha ha, hurm....

So I looked at my calendar, suffered a mild stroke or panic attack or maybe both and realized I hadn't quite planned WHEN this adventure in canning would commence. Luckily, today was virtually free with the exception of having Chloe at home with me. Just FYI, playdough is no small miracle. I owed my life to playdough today.

First thing this morning I checked my supplies,

jars - check!

peaches - check!

Okay, commence peach preserving. Why peaches you ask? I just love them and I've always had a phobia of the stuff you find at the supermarket all perfect and plasticky. They also seemed like the gateway drug for the rest of the stuff you can preserve. I've tried my hand at strawberry jam before and that seemed easy enough, but preserving fruit slices?! scary! All the blanching, peeling, slicing etc just intimidated the crap out of me.

So, all in all it was a little scary, messy, time consuming, but still a lot fun and whoa am I proud of my little jars of sunshine. I just couldn't believe the amount of pots and bowls that went into the whole production.

So here's the rundown:

Time - 6 hours

First you have to wash the jars
checking for cracks or chips in jars
wash the peaches
sterilizing the jars in either dishwasher (if yours isn't full like mine was) or in canning pot
wait for batch #1 of jars to finish.....
put lids in a pot of hot water to prepare seal & keep warm until processing
prepare syrup - two quarts of water/4 cups of sugar
boil pot of water to blanch peaches
fill two large bowls full of ice and water
fill one bowl with 1 quart of water and 4 tsp of food fresh (color preserver) (don't worry, it's just citric acid and you could use lemon juice instead if you prefer)
batch by batch, blanch peaches for 60 seconds, remove and the shock them in the cold water
leave in water for a few minutes
peal & slice peaches and transfer to the bowl of color preserver
take hot jars out of canner and fill with peaches
cover with syrup to one inch below the top of jar
slide knife or rubber spatula down the sides or jar to release any air bubbles trapped inside.
wipe down tops of jars with cloth to lean any residue
take hot lids out with magnetic lid lifter and place on jars
screw the lids tight and place on rack
lower rack into canner and make sure jars are fully covered with water
cover & bring to a boil
process once boiling for 30 minutes (quart jars) 20 minutes (pints)
remove canner lid and wait 5 min.
remove jars carefully with jar lifter without tilting or bumping jars and place on towel to cool
leave them to seal - you'll hear the lids ping as they cool which means they've sealed (if they didn't seal, reprocess or refrigerate for immediate use.
do not touch or bump them for 24 hours
take a nap if at all possible

See, fun right?!

I definitely feel a sense of accomplishment let me tell you. Tomorrow, strawberry vanilla jam because as you already know, I'm crazy.

Life in the World of Aspergers

2010-10-04T09:21:00.000-07:00

As many of you already know, Jake was diagnosed with Aspergers in July. I don't think it's been something that I've been able to really type out on the blog because it's a difficult thing to face. Or, type. It's taken me this long to decide that writing this blog was still worthwhile even though I'm so overwhelmed, and tired, and just plain depressed. I think our journey on this new path might help others facing the same journey and who knows, maybe even some hope.

So, I'll back up a little bit just to give the summary of the last few months. Back in June I wrote about my concerns about Jake. His meltdowns, obsession with rocks, shells or anything tiny, inability to stray from routine easily, and the fact that it usually seems that Jake has only 2 speeds, highly anxious and hyper or completely missing in action. Like he's somewhere else.

I finally contacted a friend who had already had her daughter through a few assessments, got some advice and called the folks that evaluated her daughter, Children's Hospital (The Boone Fetter Clinic) and the Westside Regional Center. There was a big part of me that didn't think he'd get diagnosed with anything. I thought they'd tell me I was over reacting and he's developing as any normal 4 year old would. Both Jonathan and I were profoundly shocked when we heard different. The word that would change all of our lives forever was said in both assessments, Aspergers. Otherwise known as AS, Aspergers Disorder or PDD which is a blanket term for Autism, Aspergers and other Sensory/developmental disorders.

Aspergers is a high functioning form of Autism and is on the Autism spectrum. It's different from Autism because speech and cognitive development usually is not delayed or impaired significantly. Jake has a lot of words, but he uses them in unusual ways, doesn't understand things like sarcasm and takes everything very literally. If I were to say someone let the cat out of the bag, he's be looking for the cat. That phrase would probably go over any four year old's head, but I'm just using it as a example.

Since the diagnoses I've been introduce to fun new terms like occupational therapy (OT), speech therapy (ST), ABA (AppliedBehavioralAnalysis) and social skills therapy not to mention an IEP through LAUSD, and diets like the GFCFSF (gluten/casein/soy/food coloring free diet, & annual medical tests: Stool test, RBC, Toxic metals and allergy panel. I've also sadly been more enlightened to just how expensive these therapies are and how fucked up our Aetna insurance or really the insurance industry as a whole really is. We have a insurance policy that should cover PDD/AS but Aetna is making it as hard as possible to get it. I've been on the phone an average of 2-3 times a day with them and have gotten nowhere since July. Right now our "case" is in a black hole limbo land, otherwise known as "expedited appeals", where no one answers your calls and your only option is to leave messages for "someone" to listen to and maybe return your call. I've had no return calls to my messages for two weeks now and am about to call again as soon as I post this to the blog....

Just to enlighten a few of you to the stress mostly every parent with a AS child goes through,

here are a few of the issues I loose sleep over every night.

1. Your friends don't understand your problems or stress....for instance......my friends always tell me, "oh he is just a typical kid...we all have that problem....", but they don't. Or, "he seems normal". I know they just want to be encouraging, but I wish they understood. Unfortunately, they never will.

2. Worry...the worry for your child and what the future holds. Will he be able to function and hold down a job and take care of himself.

3. Pain...the pain you have knowing your child has no friends or loses friends easily. The pain knowing your child feels different. The pain knowing your child has been bullied or teased.

4. Fustration because teachers don't understand your child and the way he thinks.

5. Frightened because your child is ANGRY! and won't talk to you...won't tell you what is going on... tells you he hates you and wants to kill you.

6. Horrified that he/she may be misunderstood and end up in legal trouble as an adult. horrified at his aggression towards us, his family, and other children.

7. Tired...tired from all the daily battles... battles with the school, battles at home doing homework or other routines.... battles with eating, battles with behavior, battles with family that don't get it, battles with insurance.

8. Depressed because I feel I can not help him. Depressed that he can not enjoy the things others do. Depressed because I get to hear about everybody else's neurotypical kids and all the brilliant neurotypical things they do.

9. Sad because I love him so much and his life is hard and he is angry and depressed. Sad for his sister and that she'll never have that "older brother" there to help her, instead she'll probably have to help him at school and with everyday tasks.

10. Frazzled because of his behavior and the influence it has on his sister and the fact that she will be disciplined differently and I have no idea how to do that.

11. Overwhelmed with this new path and all the things I have to figure out in the next year:

Here is a sample list from TACA which is completely nuts. I'm trying to not panic but this isn't helping.

First Year		Second Year	Third Year
1. Formal assessment anddiagnosis: neurologist, behaviorist, speech & OT	14. Get support & information!! Attend regular TACA or other meetings.	1. Perform annual assessments: neurologist, behaviorist, speech & OT	1. Perform annual assessments: neurologist, behaviorist, speech & OT
2. Ruling out medical tests: genetic disorders like: Fragile X (boys), Rhetts, Landau Kleffner. Perform MRI & 24 hour EEG.	15. It is all in the POOPS: deal with the constipation or diarrhea	2. Perform annual medical tests: Compreh. Stool test, RBC, Toxic metals and allergy panel	2. Perform annual medical tests: Compreh. Stool test, RBC, Toxic metals and allergy panel
3. Call ABA (AppliedBehavioralAnalysis) providers and get on wait list. Implement intensive 1-on-1 therapy program.	16. Educate yourself about the potential dangers of vaccination.	3. Evaluate all medical and traditional therapy options for their efficacy.	3. Evaluate all medical and traditional therapy options for their efficacy.
4. Start theGluten Free/Casein Free/Soy Free (GFCFSF) Diet	17. Evaluate Glutathione! – try oral, topical then IV – with your doctor's help!	4. Get involved in state & federal legislation efforts.	4. Get involved in state and federal legislation efforts – get family involved.
5. Find a DOCTORfor the long term! Perform baseline medical tests andnecessary medical treatments.	18. Considerchelation	5. Continue social skills efforts with preschool activities. Consider social skills videos.	5. Continue social skills for advanced needs with local providers.
6. Remove allergens (from diet and environment)	19. Start Social skills development – with structured play dates at home	6. Keep learning your childs legal rights and get educated.	6. Refine supplements: take supplement vacations. Change brands of supplements as needed (i.e., rotate probiotics.)
7. Remove additives, preservatives , and dyes from all foods. Go organicand clean diet.	20. Hire an special education attorney or advocate. Learn your legal rights!	7. Get an Immune assessment consider oral IG, or IVIG	7. Evaluate alternative therapies:HBOT,neurofeedback, etc.
8. See an audiologist for a complete hearing evaluation.	21. Understand health insurance coverage and reimbursements!	8. Considerlistening therapies	8. Continue education:DAN! Conferencesand others
9. Encourage proper sulphanation with nightly Epsom salt baths	22. Keep your marriage & family intact.	9. Consider arotation dietto prevent future allergies. Or other dietsSCD, BED if GFCFSF is not enough.	9. Keep your marriage & family intact.
10. Start basicsupplementationand probiotics.	23. Help your child obtain the 8-10 hours a sleep each night.	10. Refine supplements: take supplement vacations. Change brands of supplements as needed (i.e., rotate probiotics.)	10. Continue, review and test other chelation protocols.
11. Test for andtreat YEAST (Go low sugar and lowcarbohydrates!)	24. Further refine diet:remove phenols, sacylilates & corn	11. Continue education: DAN! Conferences and others	LAST RESORT:Consider pharmacology when medical efforts are not progressing.
12. Investigate & try the “Bs” – B6, B12, TMG or DMG or SuperNuThera.	25. Remove toxins from water, bedding, clothes, etc.	12. Continue rec. Respite and support! Keep your marriage & family intact.
13. Omega 3 supplements! Cod Liver Oil, or Flaxseed Meal, etc.	26. Fathers are important too!	13. If your child is 6 or older consider CAPD evaluation by an audiologist.

I'm just trying to remember to breathe and not be so resentful of the cards that were dealt because even though I didn't ask for this, neither did he. He can be a sweet boy and with intervention hopefully we'll uncover that boy even more.

broken

2010-05-28T21:40:00.000-07:00

The words I dreaded hearing last Saturday. Jake landed from of his play structure into the ER with a broken radius. He was showing off to Rachel, the cute little girl who lives next door, who also happens to be in his pre school class, and fell. Crunch. There's a lesson in this young man, care to learn it? He is so not going to be one of those guys. Nuh-uh. No way.

After the fall, he was remarkably stoic and barely shed a tear which was why we didn't take him into the ER until the next day. Remember the broken collarbone? He did the same thing then, just didn't let on that he was in any serious pain. He's one tough cookie who's ever so slightly, um, accident prone.

Caramelized Apple Pie with Cheddar Crust

2010-05-28T20:18:00.000-07:00

There is just something amazing about the combination of apples and cheddar cheese. Yep, you heard me. In a pie? That's crazy talk. Nope, that's genius. It's that savory sweet thing that causes uncontrollable drooling all over my laptop as I write this. It's really not pretty.

For the Cheddar Crust

Adapted from Martha Stewart

1¼ cups all-purpose flour

pinch salt

I/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, chilled and cut into small pieces

2 – 4 Tbsp ice cold water

¾ cup sharp Wisconsin cheddar

1. Combine dry ingredients in a large bowl and cut in butter until lentil sized pieces form.

2. Add water and mix just till the dough comes together but isn't sticky.

3. Wrap in plastic wrap and chill.

4. When well chilled, roll out between saran wrap and line a 9" glass pie plate.

*Double the recipe for a lattice or solid pie crust topping.

For the Filling

6 cups apples (Jonathan or Granny Smith)

1/2 cup packed light brown sugar

1/2 cup sugar

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon lemon juice

1 teaspoon vanilla

4 tablespoons heavy cream

4 tablespoons butter

Peel and slice apples. Sprinkle with lemon juice. Combine dry ingredients in large bowl and add apples. Toss to mix. Add vanilla and cream. Melt butter in heavy skillet. Add apple mixture and cook approximately 8 minutes, to soften apples. Turn into pie shell.

Bake pie at 375 degrees for 30-45 minutes until crust is golden brown.

Voila! So, yeah, I kind of failed at the presentation bit, and I probably would do the lattice on top next time, but I was short on time today. Hey, it's rustic.

Radish Fail

2010-05-28T20:13:00.001-07:00

Have you ever seen a sadder radish? Jake certainly hasn't.

How My Chickens Say "I Love You"

2010-05-18T14:14:00.000-07:00

This, and eggs, of course.

crunch time

2010-05-18T13:59:00.000-07:00

Aside from this fall like weather that we've been having (what's up with that?), it's feeling more like spring around here. This is officially the first harvest of the season. A radish!!!

Everything else seems to be doing okay except for my tomatoes which are like the most important... helllllooooo. I'm not sure what's wrong with them. I never knew tomatoes to be so moody. In the past, it was as if I grew them accidentally. I'd forget to water them, prune them or check for pest... Heck, I'd even forget to harvest them. So, by the time I realized I had tomatoes I'd find them half eaten. Some lucky squirrel took advantage of my negligent gardening and ate very well last summer. Well, not this summer, squirrel, not this summer.

beautiful boy

2010-05-16T23:03:00.000-07:00

Jacob is one of those kids that collects rocks, shells, and anything else he can find out in our backyard. He knows the name of all the rocks, shells and leaves, etc.

Jacob has a sweet side that can bring me to tears.

Jacob is picky with what he eats, watches, wears and reads.

Jacob has frequent screaming fits. Screaming, violent fits.

Jacob is very moody.

Jacob is very intelligent.

Jacob speaks very articulately, for his age.

Jacob hums and makes high pitch "train noises" while pacing on his tip toes and sucking on his fingers.

Jacob has trouble following verbal instructions at his preschool and at home.

Jacob doesn't understand when enough is enough.

Jacob doesn't like anything dirty.

Jacob doesn't like social situations.

Jacob doesn't play with his peers at preschool. He plays around them.

Jacob doesn't like loud noises.

Jacob......

is worrying us. Us, and his pediatrician. While a lot of this is developmentally normal, some of it's not. We have been asked by the pediatrician to have him assessed by a Neuro/behavioral development specialist. To us, we just want to know, either way, to finally know if our fears are justified or unjustified. We're just praying that they're unjustified. While I know either way he'll be taken care of and loved, I'm just not sure I'm ready for this. The thought of him never growing out of these behaviors is tough, to say the least.

Momofuku Compost Cookies

2010-05-12T14:49:00.000-07:00

Now I'm a cookie fan just like the rest of you but these cookies that I made today quite honestly need a 12 step program to go along with them. Can something come from Heaven but also be pure evil? This may be proof that it can indeed. So what's the deal with the name? Well, these evil little pillows of goodness come from Momofukus Milk Bar and are comprised mainly of bottom of the bag left over snack food, like potato chips, pretzels, coco krispies and chocolate chips. The restaurant version even has coffee grounds in it but I decided against adding that mainly because I was planning on taking them to Chloe's Mommy and Me class and the idea of a toddler accidentally getting a hold of a cookie with coffee grounds just didn't sound like a good idea to me.

I played it somewhat safe and just used potato chips and pretzels, but if you like living on the edge you could put really anything in these. Goldfish crackers? Mars Bars? Captain Crunch?

So, here it is, yours completely free....

Momofuku Compost Cookies

INGREDIENTS:

1 cup Butter

1 cup Sugar

3/4 cup Light Brown Sugar

1 Tbsp Corn Syrup (I didn't add this and they turned out fine)

1 tsp Vanilla Extract

2 Large Eggs

1 3/4 cups AP Flour

2 tsp Baking Powder

1 tsp Baking Soda

2 tsp Kosher Salt

1 1/2 cups Your favorite baking ingredients!

(chocolate chips, raisinettes, rollos & cocoa krispies)

1 1/2 cups Your favorite snack foods (chips, pretzels, goldfish, ritz, & fritos)

DIRECTIONS:

In a stand mixer with the paddle attachment, cream butter, sugars and corn syrup on medium high for 2-3 minutes until fluffy and pale yellow in color. Scrape down the sides of the mixing bowl with a spatula.

On a lower speed, add eggs and vanilla to incorporate. Increase mixing speed to medium-high and start a timer for 10 minutes. During this time the sugar granules will fully dissolve, the mixture will become an almost pale white color and your creamed mixture will double in size.

When time is up, on a lower speed, add the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Mix 45-60 sec just until your dough comes together and all remnants of dry ingredients have incorporated. Do not walk away from your mixer during this time or you will risk over mixing the dough. Scrape down the sides of the mixing bowl with a spatula.

On same low speed, add in the hodgepodge of your favorite baking ingredients and mix for 30-45 sec until they evenly mix into the dough. Add in your favorite snack foods last, paddling again on low speed until they are just incorporated.

Wrap scooped cookie dough tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate for a minimum of 1 hour or up to 1 week.

Heat the conventional oven to 400F. (350F in a convection oven)

Using a 6oz ice cream scoop, portion cookie dough onto a parchment lined sheetpan.

DO NOT BAKE your cookies from room temperature or they will not hold their shape.

When the oven reads 400F, arrange your chilled cookie dough balls on a parchment or silpat-lined sheetpan a minimum of 4" apart in any direction. (DO NOT miss this step of spacing out your cookies or they could turn out like my first batch in this photo here...)

the 1st batch never turns out

Bake 9-11 min. While in the oven, the cookies will puff, crackle and spread.

At 9 min the cookies should be browned on the edges and just beginning to brown towards the center. Leave the cookies in the oven for the additional minutes if these colors don't match up and your cookies stills seem pale and doughy on the surface.

Cool the cookies completely on the sheet pan before transferring to a plate or an airtight container or tin for storage. At room temp, cookies will keep fresh 5 days. In the freezer, cookies will keep fresh 1 month.

Yield: 15 6oz cookies

Recipe compliments of

This Moment

2010-05-11T08:55:00.000-07:00

Just walked into our living room to find this. I'm so delighted that they have each other and already have such a close bond. It's truly magical.

preschool

2010-05-10T12:12:00.001-07:00

this isn't so bad

So, I'm about a week behind on this news but that's just the way it is these days. Chloe is officially a preschooler. I'm not even kidding.

It's hard for me to believe too, a very tough pill to swallow. My baby girl [sniff] is all grown up and will probably start demanding her own phone in her room. Oh, wait, it's 2010, I guess that would be a cell phone now days. I'm old..

meltdown

All in all she did pretty well. Better than I did in fact. At first she clung to my arm like she was dangling off a building and and wailed "MOOOOOMMMMYYYYY DAAAAADDDYYYYY" over and over again, and even though I stayed for a good 20 minutes or so and watched her happily play with the train table and play with the dress up clothes, as soon as I'd try to leave she was frantic. Holding onto both legs, literally trapping me. I finally knelt down, wiped both our tears, gave her a kiss and handed her off to one of her teachers. I stood outside the classroom for about 10 minutes, sniffling into a tissue until she finally stopped crying. There were plenty of tears from the both of us, but she was happy as a clam when I came to pick her up. She ran over to me and practically tackled me to the floor. Jake even asked to see his little sister in her class to make sure she was doing ok. Yep, I could barely get through typing that without tearing up. That kid surprises me every day.

Today when I dropped her off they had finger paints set up and once she saw them, I was free to leave without incident. Not one single tear! While I'm not fully ready for this, the first of many school milestones, she's slowly making her way to the edge of the nest.

Making friends

we are what we eat

2010-05-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

This has been circulating for a while but I really liked it and thought I'd post it on here. Yes, it's a bit flowery and sort of, well, nonsense maybe, but whatever, I thought it was clever. There's also a principle in homeopathy that "Like cures like". Although that particular phrase appears only to be associated with homeopathy, it comes from earlier beliefs that superficial resemblances between things meant that there was a "spiritual" connection between those things, and so in medical terms, they could be used to treat each other. I'm a big fan of homeopathy, flowers and all.

Anyway.... if anything this is a good thing to show the kids or husbands to encourage them to eat more veggies and fruits.

A tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart is red and has four chambers. All of the research shows tomatoes are indeed pure heart and blood food.

A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye and YES science now shows that carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.

A walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds are on the nut just like the neo-cortex. We now know that walnuts help develop over 3 dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.

Sweet potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the Glycemic index of diabetics.

Onions look like body cells. Today’s research shows that onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes.

Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries. {I think I have heard this before}

Kidney beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys. {not sure about this one}

Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows that grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.

Grapefruits, oranges, and other citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.

{Well, as a technicality, there are a lot of women out there whose "mammary glands" DON'T "look just like" citrus fruits. I'd also note that lemons and limes are citrus fruits and I think any woman whose mammary glands look like either of those would be visiting a physician to have them checked out}

Eggplant, avocadoes and pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female—they look just like these organs. Today’s research shows that when a woman eats 1 avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly 9 months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods; modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them.

Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the motility of male sperm and increase the numbers of sperm as well to overcome male sterility. {he he he}

bottle of wine and chicken eggs

2010-04-30T21:53:00.000-07:00

Yep, apparently I DO have time. This is exactly what happens when there's nothing on TV, husband's out of town and a bottle of wine gets in the mix. Yeah, I know.

I was inspired by these. See, I'm not the only one.

where has the time gone?

2010-04-30T13:53:00.000-07:00

If you find it, let me know. Please.

I'm slowly catching up with the fast pace that life has taken recently. I've got all this work all of a sudden with my Landscape Design gig, playgroups, Emerson parenting classes, swim & soccer lessons for Jake at the YMCA, Jon's been working non-stop, and Chloe's starting preschool next week. WHAT THE? I know. It's the nuthouse. So much for slow living.

Anyway, I've been rather uninspired to write on this here blog recently mainly because I'm just so damn busy. So, I'm going to post someone else's essay on here which is definitely worth the read.

By Anna Quindlen, Newsweek Columnist and Author:

All my babies are gone now. I say this not in sorrow
but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction in what I
have today: three almost-adults, two taller than I am,
one closing in fast. Three people who read the same
books I do and have learned not to be afraid of
disagreeing with me in their opinion of them, who
sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I
choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel
and privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more
than I like. Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom,
zip up their jackets and move food from plate to mouth
all by themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for
the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the
baby is buried deep within each, barely discernible
except through the unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once poured over is
finished for me now. Penelope Leach., T. Berry
Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and
sleeping through the night and early-childhood
education, have all grown obsolete. Along with
Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are, they are
battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if
you flipped the pages dust would rise like memories.
What those books taught me, finally, and what the
women on the playground taught me, and the
well-meaning relations --what they taught me, was that
they couldn't really teach me very much at all.

Raising children is presented at first as a true-false
test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far
along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one
knows anything. One child responds well to positive
reinforcement, another can be managed only with a
stern voice and a timeout. One child is toilet trained
at 3, his sibling at 2.

When my first child was born, parents were told to put
baby to bed on his belly so that he would not choke on
his own spit-up. By the time my last arrived, babies
were put down on their backs because of research on
sudden infant death syndrome. To a new parent this
ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then
soothing. Eventually you must learn to trust yourself.
Eventually the research will follow. I remember 15
years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton's wonderful
books on child development, in which he describes
three different sorts of infants: average, quiet, and
active. I was looking for a sub-quiet codicil for an
18-month old who did not walk. Was there some thing
wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something
wrong with his tiny little mind? Was he
developmentally delayed, physically challenged? Was I
insane? Last year he went to China . Next year he goes
to college. He can talk just fine. He can walk, too.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too.
Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been
enshrined in the, 'Remember-When- Mom-Did Hall of
Fame.' The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad
language, mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell
off the bed. The times I arrived late for preschool
pickup. The nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer
camp. The day when the youngest came barreling out of
the classroom with a 98 on her geography test, and I
responded, 'What did you get wrong?'. (She insisted I
include that.) The time I ordered food at the
McDonald's drive-through speaker and then drove away
without picking it up from the window. (They all
insisted I include that.) I did not allow them to
watch the Simpsons for the first two seasons. What was
I thinking?

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of
us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment
enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment
is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one
picture of the three of them, sitting in the grass on
a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer
day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what
we ate, and what we talked about, and how they
sounded, and how they looked when they slept that
night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on
to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I
had treasured the doing a little more and the getting
it done a little less.

Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't,
what was me and what was simply life. When they were
very small, I suppose I thought someday they would
become who they were because of what I'd done. Now I
suspect they simply grew into their true selves
because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back
off and let them be. The books said to be relaxed and
I was often tense, matter-of-fact and I was sometimes
over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound
up with the three people I like best in the world, who
have done more than anyone to excavate my essential
humanity. That's what the books never told me. I was
bound and determined to learn from the experts. It
just took me a while to figure out who the experts
were."

Got Bok Choy?

2010-04-30T13:05:00.000-07:00

We do!

... and boy is Jonathan excited. His face was intensionally cut out of the above photo because the look of excitement on his face is just too much to handle. Really, too much.

Jake, Adelaide, Clara & Chloe

We visited Tanaka Farms where our weekly produce CSA box comes from and got to pick veggies and strawberries. Great time and berry stained cheeks and shirts had by all. Even Jonathan.

More great shots taken by my friend Sarah are here... right here!

Living Without Chemicals

2010-04-11T14:14:00.000-07:00

We're getting better.... most of us. We've become more aware that we are essentially a product of our environment. Movies like Erin Brokovich raised some awareness about the effects that the invisible bi-products of industry in our neighborhoods can cause on our health. Erin & the students of Beverly Hills High School, where I once attended, were actually involved in a class action suite against the school for allowing Venoco Oil Co. to drill on their campus, causing benzene emissions which is a know cancer carcinogen. There are alarmingly high rates of thyroid and other cancers among alumni, but the case was dismissed by a judge mainly because it was hard to tell if the cancers in former students were actually caused by the oil drilling or if by other factors like smoking, foods, housing etc.

But, it's not just from industry, we can now buy products at the local super market that can cause your skin to peel off and make you blind. Awesome! Let me clean my shower with it! It goes without saying that a lot of people are unaware that what they think is a healthy practice like mopping the floor with some pine smelling cleaner, is actually spreading a nice layer of petro chemicals for them and their kids to get comfortable on. These chemicals leach out of our paint, soaps, shampoos, floor cleaners, air fresheners and foods and cause cancer and other disorders.

Luckily, like Grandma once did, we can opt to use simple homemade household cleaners. We can paint our walls with low or no VOC paint. We can choose natural materials for our clothing, linens & toys instead of plastics and synthetics. We have a choice. We need to realize that the chemicals in food, water and our household products have real consequences. A recent piece in the New York Times delved into the effects of these chemicals on our health. Each decision we make and use in our household has an effect on our well being, and the earth's too.

Here are a few simple tips for avoiding toxins in your home:

Buy or grow organic food
avoid processed food
filter your water
choose to buy non-toxic household cleaners or make your own - water, vinegar, baking soda, lemon juice and essential oils are pretty much all you need
choose non-toxic personal product - shampoo, makeup, toothpaste and so on...

It's not easy, I know. I also know you've heard this all before and I'm just regurgitating the same bla bla bla about evil chemicals, BUT I want you and your kin to stay healthy. Thanks for reading.

The Birthday Party (sneak peek)

2010-04-03T20:53:00.000-07:00

arial view of the party from the top of the fire truck ladder.

It's just not a party without the fire department showing up... More later.

Check out the rest of the photos on flickr

Happy 4th Birthday Chudley!

Ah, April the 1st

2010-04-01T23:18:00.000-07:00

Green eggs and ham (and toast), Sam I am.... topped off with frozen milk. Breakfast of champions.

Spring, spiders and such.....

2010-04-01T22:41:00.000-07:00

EEEEEK!

Yiyiyiyiyiiiiii! Blech.

Sorry, it's taken me about a week to write about this because I frankly just didn't know what to say and I'm frightened to look at the photos...

We headed to Kidpace museum with Adelaide and fam for our annual caterpillar adoption visit and I swear I love that place almost more than bacon. I wish it was around when I was little.

... and yes, we got our caterpillars, Cookie, Joey & Lubo. They're fab and still caterpillars! I promise to try not to drop and kill one this year. Unfortunately, I'm still a klutz so that's why we got three.

Svedeesh puncekes. Um gesh dee bork, bork!

2010-03-27T13:51:00.000-07:00

My family LOVES Swedish pancakes. We're not Swedish but my my uncle is, and we've learned to make his recipe over the years even though he makes them differently each time. He never goes off and actual recipe. It's a little of this and a bit of that and he goes with his intuition on how much of each ingredient. It's maddening even though there there isn't much to it. Since we didn't have him here this morning to guide us, we had to find a recipe that best matched our memory of his and change it up a bit. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp!

You might say, well isn't it just a crepe? Actually no, but very close. A Swedish pancake calls for sugar in the recipe and a crepe usually relies on the filling to provide the sweetness, but it's pretty much the same. We like both but today we were putting in the sugar. Some recipes call for butter and others don't so this morning my mom and I had sort of a crepe off where she did hers with butter in the batter and I did mine without. I know, we're are CRAAAAZY! So, the verdict was that the ones with butter in the batter we more greasy. The only trade off is the ones w/out butter in the batter need butter in the pan for each crepe, erhum, I mean Swedish pancake. Bork bork bork!

So if you want to make these you'll need the right type of pan. Get one with at least a 8" flat bottom and non-stick is preferred.

Uncle Ron's Swedish Pancakes

3 eggs
1 1/4 C. flour
1 1/4 C. milk
1/4 Tbs. sugar
1/8 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. vanilla

Preheat a pan (cast iron or an 8 inch pan) over med/high heat. Mix eggs and a cup of the milk. Add in dry ingredients. Mix quickly but not for long. Add in the rest of the milk; combine well. This should be very thin batter.

Put a pat of butter into your hot pan. Once it is melted, pour about 1/4 cup batter into the pan. Swirl around until it's thin and even. I can never get mine perfectly round so don't worry about that. Let the Swedish pancake cook for about one minute, then flip and cook on other side about one minute (typically for me it is less). Be sure to put butter in the pan each time you cook another pancake.

Roll up the pancakes and put them on a plate. Serve with lingonberry preserves, maple syrup, or your favorite topping. Personally I like them filled with preserves and butter, and topped with a drizzle of maple syrup and powdered sugar. Pared with bacon and/or sausage and you have heaven on a plate. Restraint and Swedish pancakes just don't belong together. It was hard to even put them in the same sentence. Bork, bork bork!

After polishing off a few, I decided they are my new pancake. They are just so nice and light and I think I actually prefer them to the traditional American pancake.

Um de hur de hur de hur!

Butter Bulb™

2010-03-24T14:50:00.000-07:00

LOVE!

Meet my gorgeous new Butter Bulb™. This fab little piece of pottery allows me to butter my toast with style. Form and function on my counter top? Yes please! These amazing little french butter keepers are made by Barbara Dunshee and you can find your very own, one of a kind, Butter Bulb™ at her etsy shop. It was hard to choose which color, but I loved the bone white with the bright red dot because it works with the color scheme of my kitchen which has lots of white pottery and dishes, but there are a good few colors to choose from. They come in two different sizes for either one stick of butter or two.

Here's Barbara on her bulbs....

"For years I liked the French butter keeper concept but couldn't stand the look of them (especially hated the flat top lids). People would ask me to create them one since I was a ceramic artist. I would send them to potters I knew who made them. I would sometimes fiddle with designs in clay, or on paper but nothing grabbed me. Finally I came up with the interior bulb shape and it all fell into place. I love the way they feel to use, so roundy and comfy in the hand. I'm a little bit in love with them. "

Me too, Barbara, me too.

Not Your Grandma's Lasagna

2010-03-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

I recently joined a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) against every molecule in Jon's being. This was the year that I decided to eat more vegetables, less meat and more locally, and if I'm doing it, the whole family has to, too. Hey, you cook, you choose, right? So, I figured if I got a box full of veggies every week, that would force me to have to expand on my usual recipe repertoire which doesn't usually involve a lot of vegetables. This is especially challenging when your husband doesn't eat vegetables. Ever. He claims it's because he has unusually sensitive taste buds which could be true. He's got the uncanny ability to pick out the most subtle of flavors in a meal. Ingredients most people wouldn't pick up on. Whatever.

Okay, so I what's a girl to do?

Tonight I prepared an old, reliable dish for our family, lasagna. Only, you really can't compare it to any lasagna you've ever had. It's not the traditional ricotta, mozzarella fare but give it a chance, it'll knock your socks off and it's so easy. I promise. This is my go to recipe when a friend has a baby or if someone just needs a meal. Only this time I had a bunch of kale & carrots to make use of thanks to my new CSA habit. Jon saw the pile of kale and was like, "what are you going to do with that?", & I told him he'd be better off if he didn't ask questions. To be informed is a bad thing sometimes. So when he wasn't looking, I snuck the veggies in the sauce and he was none the wiser. Sneaky.... You could probably get away with adding more carrots or whatever, but that's up to you. Tomato sauce it like the invisibly cloak for healthy stuff.

Here's the recipe.

Not Your Grandma's Lasagna

1 1/4 lbs of Italian Sausage

3 cloves of garlic, minced

about 5-7 kale or spinach leaves, pureed in food processor

1-2 large carrots shredded

1 small can of tomato paste

1 (15 oz) can of tomato sauce

1 tsp sugar

course salt

12 oz egg noodles (I used "no boil" noodles)

1 Tbs unsalted butter

1 cup sour cream

4 oz cream cheese, at room temperature

1 bunch of scallions

8 oz of white cheddar cheese

Heat oven to 350 degrees

Remove sausage meat from casings and saute until lightly browned in a large skillet over medium heat breaking it up as it cooks. Add garlic during the last few minutes before you add the next ingredients. Add tomato paste, tomato sauce and sugar. Fill tomato paste can with water and stir it in. Add kale and carrots. Simmer, covered, for 15-20 minutes.

Boil noodles if you didn't get the "no boil" ones.

Mix sour cream, cream cheese and scallions in a small bowl. Make layers in a 9x9 casserole dish, as follows: Spread a little sauce over bottom of dish, top with a layer of noodles, then spread half of he sour cream mixture, then noodles again, then meat sauce. Repeat these steps. Top lasagna with sliced cheddar.

Bake for 45-50 minutes until lasagna is bubbly and the cheese is lightly browned.

Now EAT!

Affordable, Sustainable Nesting Skills

2010-03-17T15:19:00.000-07:00

I picked up this book not too long ago and am very excited about it. It is chock full of charming tutorials and hand drawn illustrations for everything in the home from making your own tinctures, to building a garden, to recipes for window cleaner.

Look, I know there is this cultural belief that the domestic realm is somehow less important than the public one. Which we all know is a load of crap. Sadly, because of that notion, this kind of DIY knowledge has been in the decline since the feminist movement. I'm not blaming feminist per say, but I do think that out of a lot of women's fears of being too Betty Crocker and locked in that gilded cage of housewifery, we are now a Walmart culture.

This little $5 DIY zine is for EVERYBODY! Gardening, homemaking and healing are all vital yet basic aspects of human life. I'm using it now everyday. I recommend "Make Your Place" as a read for anyone who wants to make their life a little greener and more enjoyable.

Bootie knitter

2010-03-16T08:44:00.001-07:00

I can finally post about this now that the baby shower has passed. It was for a good friend of mine, Shannon, last Sunday.

First I did this hat. Adorable, right? Only issue is I made it for a baby and it would fit Jake perfectly. It fit Chloe, who's two, but was still a little roomy. Oh well. Still usable.

Then there were the booties that I wanted to go with it. Maybe I could make these fit a baby.... I should know better. I found this pattern for booties in the same book that I made the hat from, Last Minute Knitted Gifts, and they looked SO adorable. However, these booties require an unnatural ability to knit with both hands and, apparently, feet or a third arm if you have one. I haven't yet mastered knitting in the round and this pattern makes you work with three double pointed needles which made me feel like I was wrestling an octopus. So after I untangled myself, I tossed it. Cursing and crying ensued.

Find happy place, find happy place! It's all downhill from here, just so you know.

Turns out, booties are hard. Really, really hard. I seriously considered knitting the baby a scarf instead, but then quickly realized that would be a bad idea. Knitting something to wrap around a babies neck could really back fire on me... and the baby.

So, I then decided I should google "SUPER EASY, BEGINNER baby booties" to see what I could come up with. After a bit of digging I found a nice little pattern that required only minimal knitting skills which was right up my alley. I knitted away and finished one bootie. And then disaster. The husband got hold of my laptop and closed the browser and somehow erased any trace of previous sites visited. Of course, finding a needle in a haystack would have been easier than finding that website again. Note to self: BOOKMARK, BOOKMARK BOOKMARK! So I cried some more. Anyone know a one legged baby? I really hope not, but in case you do, I've got his/her bootie.

Turns out I shouldn't knit under pressure. It kind of takes away any of the meditativeness that knitting is suppose to offer.

So, I drank a few glasses of wine and tried to find that place, that happy place to begin my search again for the easy baby bootie because Jeannine has OCD and a unhealthy determination to keep a babies feet warm. Finally, I found this site! Cute right? Well, once finished I realized that I had knitted booties for a baby with unusually large, different sized feet or a three year old... The gauge was all wrong even though I went by the instructions... You may be thinking, at least it'll go with the hat, right? Ugh! How sad are these?

They aren't even the same size! I think this qualifies as a thought gift. At least the bear saved me from total baby shower shame.

Two?

2010-03-13T14:12:00.000-08:00

Huh? Oh my. All day I looked at her and thought, "really? two? How can this be happening so fast? And then in the next breath, of course, cannot remember my life before her, as if it's been years and years. One of those incredibly hard to explain, and yet so very real parenting feelings.

The actual birthday started with cupcakes with her Emerson class pals, then a nice long nap, followed by pizza with the family and, of course, more cupcakes.

Then there was the party. Oh what a party. A fairy / pirate party, that is. Aside from the late pizza, the cupcake disaster and pinata flop, it was a lovely day. A perfectly mellow kind of day, well-suited to my little girl. Fairies (and fanciness), pirates, lots and lots of friends, and many, many balloons and fairycakes. Good times.

"cupcake disaster"

I know the feeling.

Newspaper Basket

2010-03-09T15:03:00.001-08:00

A neighbor recently had some major surgery done and since I can sympathize, I decided a delivery of fresh eggs to him and his family were in order. Only problem was, I didn't have any nice little baskets to put them in and I really didn't feel like bringing them over in a sad little tupperware container. Then, I remembered a craft that I had seen on some craft blog not to long ago and I decided to recreate it as well as I could.... it was a newspaper basket! I loved the idea of repurposing old newspapers or magazines into something useful and I didn't feel like trucking somewhere to buy a basket. We're trying to be more frugal these days, except with shoes..... Not the shoes. Anyway, I bet you're pretty damn excited to find out how I did this, right? You can hardly contain your excitement, I know. Let me explaaaaain, sugar.

First things first, you'll need a newspaper, scissors, a stapler, some craft glue, and ribbon. The cup of coffee or tea is optional, but a really good idea. You might want to consider it.

Trim the fold from a section of your paper to release each of the individual pages.

Then, fold each page lengthwise in half, then in half again, and then again, leaving you with a strip that's about 1-1/2 inches wide.

Start weaving the pieces together as snugly as possible and as you go, you can determine the size of your bottom (your basket's bottom, that is). I just wanted a little basket for a 1/2 dozen eggs so mine was 4 strips x 4 strips.

Now you'll want to fold all the ends up and weave the remaining strips to form the sides of the basket, stapling as you go. You'll have to overlap some strips but you can simply staple those together too, or if staples are just too hideous for you persnickety people, you can try craft glue or double sided tape. Make sure all the strips are taught, this will require some patience. Trust me.

When you reach the top, fold over the end pieces and tuck the outward ones into the strip below it, then trim the inside ones and staple them down so you don't see the ugly ends.

I then decided to take some nice, colorful pages out of a Anthropologie catalogue I had laying around to form the top edge. It sort of gives it a more finished look. You could also go all out and use ribbon or more newspaper or whatever suits the look you're trying to achieve. Since I didn't have any craft glue or a sewing machine, I didn't get all crazy. I cut a catalogue page into 2" strips and folded those in half. Then I wrapped that folded strip around the top edge so it covered it both inside and out. I got kind of fancy with some ribbon I had laying around and added a bow. I thought it was a nice touch being that it was a "gift" basket.

From start to finish this took me no more than 30 minutes for my little basket.

Voila! you should now have a nice little basket for your eggs, remotes, magazines or small Terrier. You might want to go wash your hands because they're probably pretty grey by now.

breakfast conversation

2010-03-09T08:32:00.000-08:00

Jake: Mommy, you're a Cutie Sweetie Pie. You're so cute.

Me: Thank you Jake, you are too.

Jake: No, I'm not cute, I'm a booty shaker transformer.

Me: um, okaaaay?

Jake: Have you eaten your breakfast yet?

Me: Uh, no. Not yet. I'll have it lat.......

Jake: You need to eat your breakfast sweetie pie. You need your vitamins. GO EAT YOUR BREAKFAST RIGHT NOW!

Me: Jake, please don't call me sweetie pie, I'm your Mama. I'll eat my........

Jake: I asked you to eat your breakfast and don't make me ask you AGAIN MOMMY! NOW MOMMY!

Me: hmmph, OKAY! [stomping off to make some toast. I know when to shut up and do what I'm told]

a proud day

2010-03-08T12:30:00.000-08:00

I knit! I just finished my one of my first knitting projects, a keyhole scarf. I've got 3 going right now... This is the "Windy City Scarf" out of Stitch & Bitch and I did it with 2 skeins of Blue Sky yarn in Cumin. I'm so happy with it. My first scarf, which isn't this one, was actually my first ever experience working with the stockinette stitch and, well, is a mess so I just gave up and started the scarf above which, like I said, am very happy with. Yay me!

I've got a baby bonnet and booties in the works.

Friday Morning

2010-03-05T09:55:00.000-08:00

Inspired by today's post from Soule Mama, I decided to do the same. I would like to remember to do just this, savor the moments no matter how ordinary they are. To be in the moment, and not thinking forward constantly. These moments are simple yet beautiful. Best of all, when you stop to soak them in, they leave behind memories for a lifetime. I'm so Hallmark, I know. Okay, no more shmaltz... Happy Friday!

Thanks Ladies

2010-03-03T14:06:00.000-08:00

I had a really nice surprise when I went out to the coop today to collect Ethel's egg, there were two! Lucy has started laying them too! I should have been tipped off by the tell tale "squat" that she started doing last weekend. You know it when you see it. Instead of slinking under your hand when you try to pet them, they'll squat down, spread their wings out and lift their butt in the air and enjoy a good, rough pet. I think they think you're going to mate with them or something. I don't know... None of my books really cover it in detail, but they do say that eggs are on the horizon when your chickens start squatting.

"Lucy"

My girls are THE BEST. Seriously, I had no idea that chickens could make me so happy. They are so friendly now and I just love how the come running over to me when I walk out to my backyard. If I sit down with a treat, they'll even jump on my lap or my shoulders to eat it. I know, I'm this close [pinching my fingers together] to being the crazy chicken lady. erhum. I've been pleasantly surprised by how curious they are and how much they like attention. Not only that, but what clowns they are. Their chicken antics are just hilarious to watch. I can't imagine life with out them.

Jon's opinion, however, is a little different. He's warming up to them, but he does get annoyed with their poop. There is a lot of it, but I don't find it any worse than if you had a dog to clean up after. Honestly, I find their poop a whole lot easier to deal with than big ol' stinky Labrador poop.

The kids love them, too. They love collecting the fresh eggs out of the nest, feeding them and being followed around by them cracks them up. They're even starting to appreciate eating the eggs. It's funny how a cheese covered egg that came from Lucy or Ethel can appeal to a child who not to long ago would rather eat his shoe.

Anyway, I can't imagine now why anyone wouldn't have chickens. With the exception, of course, if other animals or their property didn't allow for it. After initial set up cost, it's kind of ridiculous how easy and cheap raising them really is compared to what you get in return. A constant supply of FRESH EGGS! My Great grandma knew this. Heck, I bet most of you reading had a relative who had chickens at one time or another. Sadly, when the 50's suburban sprawl and industrialized farming came about, backyard poultry lost popularity. Since then it's been associated with poverty and hillbilly folk and buying eggs from the store is for some reason considered more civilized.

"Ethel"

I'm really happy that times are changing and it seems to be making a come back with the whole "urban homestead" or "locavore" movement. Even here in Los Angeles it's becoming less of a novelty. For example, I recently joined a Los Angeles Urban Chicken Enthusiast group which gets a bunch of us crazy chicken people together once a month for socializing and seminars.

That said, my neighbors still seem to be mystified by the whole thing. One of them actually asked me if I'd get any chicks from the eggs and I was all, "without a rooster? um no, that's not how it works", and had to basically explain the birds and bees of chickens to him. It's shocking how many people don't know how the whole reproduction thing works. I mean, it's really not all that different from us humans, or any other thing on this planet that can reproduce, with the exception of seahorses which are sort of backwards being that the male gets pregnant.... but I digress. The whole immaculate conception egg thing is actually a common misconception.

The neighbors, confusion aside, don't seem to mind them and have even offered to chicken sit when we're out of town. Actually, I have more volunteers to care for the chickens than I do for my two cats! Not really a surprise when you think about the reward.

the end.

Battle Scar

2010-03-03T13:21:00.000-08:00

I know, I'm sorry I didn't warn you first. Gross huh? The two holes below the incision are from the chest tubes. The incision surprised me because of its location, being that the tumors were on my diaphragm.

Time to Simplify

2010-03-02T08:51:00.000-08:00

I recently read this book, "Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier and More Secure Kids" by Kim John Payne, and if there is ever a book to change and inspire me to evolve as a parent, this is it. "Too much stuff, too many choices and not enough time make kids feel anxious.", explains the author.

In this ever accelerating world of more is better, over stimulation and constant go, go, go, our children are loosing their childhood. This is the brief moment in life when children should be allowed to just be kids, not little adults worrying about the pressures and troubles of the world. These days there seems to be this pressure to follow the herd, to do what all the other parents are doing which usually involves trying to raise these "well rounded" genius kids that can "do it all". My child can speak 3 different languages, juggle, is the best player on his soccer, baseball & basketball team, marched in a anti war protest and played Mozart on the piano by the age of 5. Okay, that may be an exaggeration for most, but there are those families. Our children can't cope, and at ever increasing rates are being diagnosed with ADD, ADHD, OCD, depression and other mental issues. "We have misjudged what our children can handle and now have a whole generation of neurologically damaged and emotionally stunted human beings.".

Children need rhythm, calm and peace in their daily lives. As parents, we owe it to our children to give them those things and to protect them from the assault on their childhood innocence. It's our responsibility to filter and choose what reaches them. We need to give our children the gift of boredom. Yep, remember boredom? That thing which essentially forced us to get up and create our own entertainment or go outside? We need to give them back the skills to come up with entertainment beyond television, Wii and the computer which will, in turn, cultivate their creativity.

First thing on my list is to get some containers for storage and pack up all of my kids toys except for a few carefully chosen items. We're starting a toy rotation in the spirit of simplifying. Hell, this is sure going to make clean up time easier!

How to Build a Raised Garden Bed

2010-02-28T17:35:00.000-08:00

It's EASY!

First, pick a nice sunny spot with at least 6-8 hrs of sun or, preferably, 8-12 hours and clear out anything that may be in the way. Fruiting veggies such as tomatoes, peppers, zucchinis, eggplants, cucumbers and squash need the most hours of sun. Root vegetables such as beets, radishes & carrots can get by with less, and leafy veggies such as swiss chard, spinach and lettuce and traditional winter vegetables like turnips and cauliflower will tolerate the most shade - even as little as 4 hours a day. Then you'll need to come up with a design. You can get all fancy with geometric designs or stack in a pyramid effect or you can just go simple like I did with a 8' x 4' rectangle. Maybe down the road I'll take this to a new level, but for now we're keeping it simple.

Once you've figured out the size and shape and maybe come up with a neat little drawing, figure out your dimensions and head down to your local lumber store. You'll also need some basic supplies and tools. You're comfortable with a drill, right? Sure you are! Here's a general list but alter as needed for your design:

Tape Measure
Pencil
Level
carpenters square
mallet
drill
7/64 #8 counter sink bit
#1 3-3 1/2 & #1 2-2 1/2 exterior screws (make sure they're exterior screws so the won't rust)
a bundle of 18" or 24" wooden stakes
4 2x6 boards cut 8' in either UNTREATED cedar or redwood
4 2x6 boards cut 4' in either UNTREATED cedar or redwood

Okay, once you've got all that, drill them all together and you're done! Go take a nap!

Just kidding.

First, you'll want to pre-drill the holes for the screws. Make sure you pre-drill the holes instead of just drilling the screws straight in because that could split the wood which would make you sad.

Make sure you've got all your boards where you need them and a balloon couldn't hurt either.

Make sure your measurements are correct.

Find some wiggle worms... just in case.

Make sure everything is level.

Then go take a nap and wake up to find that your husband has

miraculously built you a raised veggie bed!

If you're still perplexed on what to plant and how, here's a nifty little link to get you started with a beginners veggie garden recipe.

Now get to it!

in my shoes

2010-02-27T09:06:00.000-08:00

This child has a serious shoe fetish. I know, a girl after my own heart. It's cute, it's normal... but really, is it? I've pretty much had to throw our "no shoes in the house" policy out the window because as soon as you take off your shoes, they're on her feet... and she definitely has her favorites. In particular, these damn white sandals that I recently picked up at Target for summer. As soon as she wakes up, there's no good morning, no nice to see you, oh no; she demands shoes, pointing her finger in the direction of her closet where she knows the sandals reside. I've tried to convince her to wear more seasonally appropriate shoes, but I might as well have asked her to wear squirrel carcasses on her feet. She wants sandals... oh, and OVER SOCKS no less.

So, the other day I tried to come up with some way to get her off the sandals. Maybe purses? Dolls? ugh! What to do, what to do? Finally, I realized that there is only one thing to do... Get her better shoes. Shoes to make her forget the silly sandals. And what could be more appropriate for the job than a pair of red mary janes?

IT WORKED! Now I just need to accept that these aren't coming off any time soon & she's probably going to insist on bathing and sleeping in them, too.

Now I want a pair!

Another favorite pastime is raiding my closet. She, without fail, will go for the highest heel possible. Heels I don't even wear and for some reason happen to own. She'll systematically pull every shoe she can reach off the shelves, trying each one on and parading around the house exclaiming, "CHOOOOOS!".

Choos? I wish. Kenneth Cole, actually.

Almost Spring

2010-02-23T14:00:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited for Spring. This is the year that I decided to not be such a giant resource suck and start growing my own food in my own backyard. We all know about the chickens. Hell, even the checkout lady at Vons knows about the chickens. But now, I'm going a predictable step further and I'm doing a little vegetable garden experiment this Spring. Jon's just waiting for me to bring home a goat or bee hive because that's logically WHAT'S NEXT. I've flown so far into the deep end of this urban farming revolution movement or whatever you want to call it, that it's got a few family members and friends concerned.

So, a few weeks ago I sowed my seeds; a few types of tomatoes, a few types of peppers, carrots, beans, salad mix (that was actually what the seed pack called it) and Thyme & I've got strawberries in the mail. In years past I've always just picked up a few small seedlings from the nursery, which is fine, but this year I'm going from scratch, baby. I want to know where my seeds are from. I'm going the hardcore GMO free, open pollinated, non hybrid, untreated, organic bla, bla, bla... my head hurts. Anyway, THE SEEDS. Right, I'm beyond containing my excitement because some have actually started to sprout! I know! I can't believe it either. I'm actually growing something other a pile of laundry.

The next step is to wait for the true leaves to appear and once that happens I can transplant them into the ground. Only problem is, the ground outside my backdoor is a toxic mix of sand, clay, oh and nuclear waste. I'm only slightly irked by that that, but irked enough to buy a bag of organic soil from the local nursery and opt to plant in a raised bed. Okay, no problem. Now I just have to get Jon to build me one. On second thought, I may be transplanting these seedlings into pots.

I'm kidding. Jon, my hero, went to the place I loath beyond any other, the local building super store, and picked up some nice untreated redwood, got the pieces cut to size and now all he has to do is screw them together this weekend. I'll be sure to document that entertaining process later.

An EGG! For Reals This Time!

2010-02-22T11:00:00.000-08:00

In other news, Ethel laid an egg! A real egg from her own butt! And this time I don't have my father in law here to worry about it being a gag. Here's a photo of the pretty lil' thing. I'm so proud. I even wrote her name and the date on the egg and am going to keep it like any insane chicken mama would. I'll eat her next one.

These girls sure know how to cheer me up.

Ethel's is the one on the right and the one on the left is from the store. Her's is such a pretty color and way cuter than the store bought one. Am I right?

Addendum as of now, 3 hours later...

Oh boy, where do I start.... So, I just found out the egg in that there picture probably wasn't Ethel's first egg. Turns out there are 5 others that my mom "thought were dummy eggs". Let me back up, I had 3 wooden "dummy" eggs in the nest box to show them, Lucy & Ethel, that that's what they're suppose to do there. They had been there for a month or so and my mom even knew about them. So, yesterday after my mom discovered Ethel's "1st egg", I asked her to remove the wooden eggs because they obviously get what to do now. Only, unbeknownst to me, she removed 7, yes SEVEN EGGS. I don't know, maybe I'm just being persnickety, but it strikes me as hard to believe that it didn't dawn on her that there were more eggs there than before and half WERE NOT WOOD. I know she's getting old and all but if you can't tell the difference between a wooden egg and a real one, that's scary. So, I have a sneaking suspicion that she is just playing "REALLY DUMB" and just didn't want me to know that they started laying while I was in the hospital. I like the latter of the possible explanations. Less scary. And since I can't really tell which egg was the first one and have five whole eggs, I better start eating them!

YUM!

ouch doesn't even begin to cover it

2010-02-22T10:51:00.000-08:00

"ignorant pre-surgery bliss"

If someone would have warned me that surgery REALLY HURTS way worse than child birth for a really long time, I don't think I would have done this so carelessly or took the above smiley photos during pre-op. There is pain, and then there is pain that makes you very aware of everyday things like lying down, rolling over, sitting, coughing and pants.

This whole experience has made me appreciate wellness in a whole new way. Life with out pain. Or constant drugs to mask said pain.

I guess you could say that I'm lucky that I was so naive to what was in store for me. I remember going into this thing as if I was getting a tooth pulled. I remember the last thing I said to the doctor as he was pulling the mask over my face went something like this, "my son would like to put the tumors in a jar and put them on his shelf.", and him saying, "okay, that's nice.".

And then, fluffy clouds.

Six or so hours later, the next memory is of myself cursing at some nurse because of the pain I was in and how I needed more of SOMETHING. I think I actually grabbed a passing nurses arm and let out some words that resembled, "my nurse was not listening and not helping me.". I figured out pretty quickly that there are a lot of medical staff out there with some serious job satisfaction/sensitivity chip issues. Thankfully, this nurse was not one of those and she quickly intervened with more morphine. And thankfully, the surgery was a success, but part of my diaphragm, to which the tumors were connected to, had to be removed and patched up with mesh (I have no idea so don't ask). The big one was the size of a grapefruit and the smaller one an apple. Fruit salad anyone? no? okay, moving on.

ICU for 2 days followed with more disgruntled nursing staff and pain beyond, well, anything I had ever experienced. I did have this handy little device called the pain pump (in non medical speak) which is basically a remote control with a button that delivers Dilaudid whenever I pushed it as long as it was 8 minute since the last time I pushed it. BEST INVENTION EVER. I spent every day watching the clock and dissecting it into eight minute increments so I'd know when I could push the button next. If I accidentally pushed it too soon it would throw everything off because there was no way to tell if the medication was actually delivered. The pain never did fully leave so I was never sure if I got the meds or not. In retrospect, the whole thing was probably a placebo type of thing and they were just giving me saline and not any pain reliever at all. Conspiracy!? Perhaps paranoia is a side effect of the meds. moving on.

Thursday they finally pulled out the chest tubes which caused a lot of the discomfort I was experiencing. These things had been in place since the end of surgery in order to keep my lung from collapsing. It is something I'd rather not go into detail about, but I'll just say that I'd really like to avoid doing it ever again. I just remember the doctor saying something to the effect that I might feel some pain. Pain and hyperventilation and shaking uncontrollably is more like it.

Once things calmed down, he asked me if I felt better and lighter now that they were out. Oh yes, excuse me while I skip around the room, enjoying the freedom from chest tubes. weeeheeee! no chest tubes! Can you believe it?!

Friday they let me go home and I've been in hiding ever since. I love our house even more now that I've spent some serious time in bed staring at the same walls. Everyday is getting a bit easier, but I still can't believe that I'm staring at 6 more weeks of recovery. And, while it's kind of nice to have some time to myself, I wouldn't exactly call this or the hospital stay, club med. The pain kind of takes away any pleasure I can get from the "break" I'm getting. BUT I have finished planning and shopping for both kid's birthday parties, knitted a good portion of a knitting project and am BLOGGING! Go figure.

Oh, and check out this crazy bruise on my arm. You'd think I had arm surgery too, but it's just from the a-line iv during the surgery. NUTS!

Lucky for you, some a-hole nurse threw out the photos that my surgeon gave me of the tumors on my diaphragm and I just can't get a good angle on my sutures.

napping, baking and granola making

2010-02-09T18:27:00.000-08:00

There isn't much that's more glorious than a rainy day filled with all of the above.

Here is the fab granola recipe that I used. I stole it from Alton Brown.

Ingredients

3 cups rolled oats
1 cup slivered almonds
1 cup cashews or pecans (I used chopped pecans)
3/4 cup shredded sweet coconut
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons dark brown sugar
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons maple syrup
1/4 cup vegetable oil
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup raisins

Directions

Preheat oven to 250 degrees F.

In a large bowl, combine the oats, nuts, coconut, and brown sugar.

In a separate bowl, combine maple syrup, oil, and salt. Combine both mixtures and pour onto 2 sheet pans. Cook for 1 hour and 15 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes to achieve an even color.

Remove from oven and transfer into a large bowl. Add raisins and mix until evenly distributed.

SO GOOOOD! The kids gobble it up over yogurt & I always need to make more than one batch.

The View Outside My Window

2010-02-09T15:57:00.001-08:00

knock, knock, knock, hello?

oh, hello.

Bad Day to be a Chicken

2010-02-09T11:22:00.000-08:00

Oh, come on now. Keep your snarky comments to yourself and indulge in some stupid humor involving screaming chickens. There's just no getting around the fact that chickens in spacesuits, sunglasses and ties are pure comic gold. These made me laugh and, well, had to share.

oy to the vey

2010-02-04T18:49:00.000-08:00

So, where was I? To sum up, we rang in New Years with some good friends and a bunch of people in Houston at the wee hour of 10:34 (tivo time), Lucy & Ethel still aren't laying me any eggs but are becoming good friends in the meantime, Jake and Chloe are bigger and louder than last year & I have lung tumors. Other than that it's pretty much same ol', same ol'.

You're probably wonder, well, what about that weather? Are you still knitting? The answers to both are rainy and yes. Oh, what, the tumors? So, about the tumors, I've named them Bob & Larry and they both have to go. Tuesday the 16th to be exact and we'll know for sure if they are malignant or not. The doctors think that even though Bob & Larry on the large side (a small orange & a lime) they most likely are benign. I've had no symptoms and was floored when told the news. If and when I get the xrays, I'll show you what these bad boys look like. Maybe they'll let me take them home in a jar. That would definitely make for an interesting show and tell for Jake.

The crazy thing about all this is they sort of got discovered on accident. It was one of those crazy things where I went into the ER thinking I had a burst appendix and instead had lung tumors. Thankfully, my appendix is fine. WOOHOO! It's really lucky in a roundabout way. I could have walked around with Bob & Larry for who knows how long and not even known it.

tidings of comfort and joy...

2009-12-11T19:52:00.001-08:00

and here it is... Chloe obviously feeling the joy and Jake, as always, just hardly containing his. We went to the mall last Saturday for the obligatory santa photo and made a poor old guy in a red suit feel really bad about his job.

Meet the Girls

2009-12-04T21:04:00.000-08:00

Lucy & Ethel.

Lucy, the Rhode Island Red, and Ethel, the Plymouth Barred Rock, are the newest members of our kooky family. They're sweet, plucky and just about ready to lay me some eggs... this Spring.

We picked these two up last weekend at this little mom and pop place called Blue Hill Farm just north of Ojai where they raise pygmy goats, turkeys and, of corse, rare breeds of chickens.

more photos here of kids and pygmy goat kids to fullfill that cuteness need. No need to push, there's enough to go around.

chickens are the new black

2009-11-21T07:31:00.000-08:00

Haven't you heard? pshaw!

We're getting chickens!!! That's right, do not adjust your monitors. Because, getting a new house just wasn't enough. If you're on facebook and know me you probably already know this.

This whole chicken thing, for any of you who know me, wasn't an over night decision. I've had egg/chicken envy for years but we never really had the right yard to accommodate such creatures. This all started while reading a Martha Stewart magazine article about her chickens when I stumbled upon this cute coop, The Omlet Eglu, which is this very cool looking, ingeniously designed coop for the backyard chicken keeper. It's very Martha. But still I dreamed. Then the day came when we got this house & I knew I wouldn't have to dream anymore. So I ordered the coop last week and it arrived on Monday. It's not an eglu because we decided, unless the chickens are laying golden eggs, we're just not spending that kind of money. So, this is what we got...

It's by Handcrafted Coops and while I know it's not cheap per-say, but for the price that it would have cost Jon & I financially, mentally and emotionally to build one, it was worth it and still a lot cheaper than the eglu.

So, you might be asking why of all things am I raising chickens? Well, there is just something about knowing where your food is coming from that is nice. I've have this permaculture / urban farming fantasy in my head and I'm just crazy enough to try it. Chickens are not exactly what I am used to for a pet as not being the furbearing type, but there's just something sunny and useful about them that is endearing. Plus, depending on the breed, they can be very friendly, want a cuddle and follow you around your yard. They provide a natural fertilizer for your lawn and garden and eat all the bugs. I've even heard on backyardchickens.com and other blogs by people with them that they provide hours of entertainment. Food for them is cheap and each chicken will usually reward you with an egg a day.

So, since we moved in, Jon and I have been talking about this chicken venture. Well, mainly I have been doing the talking and convincing and pulling together power point presentations on just how much better our life would be if we had them and how I've got this chicken poop thing all figured out. I really don't, but for the sake of argument, I did just order a fancy new composter which in turn should give us amazing compost with all that poop we'll, erhum, I will be collecting which will in turn give us big fatty vegetables next spring. Have I mentioned that Jon doesn't eat veges OR EGGS? At least one of us is excited.

Halloween and such

2009-10-30T19:49:00.000-07:00

Let me just start by saying, Jake is so excited he could pee himself. Honestly, he actually has once or twice. We're still having accidents when we get excited, you see... Anyway, he's climbing the walls, waiting, anticipating and counting down the seconds until that fantastic holiday where everyone (who's fun) plays dress up and goes parading around the neighborhood begging for candy. It just doesn't get much better than that... Except for Christmas which he is already climbing the walls, waiting, anticipating etc. etc. for. Chloe is still just like "WTF?", but is happy to devour sweets if she has too. She'll even wear a silly hat if that helps get her a cupcake.

Oh, and yeah, we're in our house and down to just one box left to unpack. I fully anticipate staring at said box in about 9 months, which is sitting dead center on the floor in my office, wondering what's in it. But hey, we're pretty settled and are even hosting a pre trick or treat party tomorrow just to prove it. aaaaaaack!

By the way, in case you're wondering why Chloe is holding a graham cracker instead of a broom, Mama wanted a picture and a graham cracker was the only way to get it. That, and I had to take it away because she was whacking her brother with it.

We are THAT family

2009-10-07T21:30:00.000-07:00

Yes, you're probably wondering what the first thing we unpacked was... surprisingly, it wasn't halloween decorations. Regardless, I got them up because I'm just that CRAZY. Priorities people, priorities. Who needs to know where the hell the cups are... we've got pumpkins! Yay pumpkins!

So, this is our new home and we're pretty happy with it. It feels like home.

moving

2009-09-27T09:02:00.000-07:00

Oh, how I've neglected you, my sweet blog. I have many, many updates but have simply been too busy to sit down and type them out. Bare with us, as we're in the midst of a move. Yep, we got the house!

For the last month or so I've been running around like a lunatic, signing closing papers, inspections, packing, organizing, tossing, painting & landscaping. It has seemed like an insurmountable task but I'm starting to see the light. It has felt like weeks that we've been living with piles of crap up to our ears. There are many days where I literally have to search for one of the kids behind one of the many wobbly mountains of boxes throughout the house. They think it's just the new way of living, living amidst piles of boxes. It's great fun and even more fun are the meandering rabbit warrens between boxes which are riddled with booby traps.. Matchbox cars, trains, Darth Vader's little light saber and legos seem to be strategically placed just so you go skidding across the floor in the middle of the night.

I'm also discovering what pack rats Jon & I are. I was going through our files last week and found a receipt for old paint from 2002 and other warranties and instructions for appliances I sold at a garage sale 5 years ago but couldn't throw away because SOMEDAY I'D NEED IT. It's been a very revealing process. As I sit here typing instead of doing the 109 other things on my task list, I stare at the embarrassing piles of bills to file and other such random articles from magazines and receipts that I NEED for some REALLY IMPORTANT reason [erhum]. Maybe we don't need 10 Easter baskets and that box of old handbags that I haven't seen since the last move.

A new house is like a new beginning and a good excuse for a garage sale which is number 104 on my list. How else could we afford to buy more stuff?

Oh, what to title this one...

2009-08-23T19:40:00.000-07:00

Maybe, "Dancing King", "So He Thinks He Can Dance", "Sir Dance A LOT", "Booty Shaker", "Dancing With the Jake"?

Oh I know, "Crazy Dancing Whacked Out Toddler".

Yeah, I think that's the one.

Sadly, this is the only video out of the many we thought we had recorded, but didn't because of our crappy broken camera. It does, however, give you a taste.

You have to admire how blissfully unencumbered he is. I think most toddlers fall into the category of either a bouncer or a booty shaker. Jake is more of a full-body-gyrating-breakdancing-on-the-ground-and-back-up-again-disco dude. He even has this move where he looks like he's playing an invisible keyboard. Don't ask me where he got this. I don't care. It's just awesome. I don't think there is likely anything more entertaining than watching him dance & just about everyone within sight didn't know quite what to make of him, but had to smile if not laugh (bless him). He's got moves, what can I say.

My name is Jake and I like to Dance!

No Purple Dinosaur

2009-08-23T17:00:00.000-07:00

In case you're still really confused about the "no purple dinosaur' thing, the lake we were at in the video was called Barney Lake. Jonathan & I had the pleasure of hiking 8 miles to have a picnic at that lovely place. Also, in case you were wondering, Jonathan was not as big of a curmudgeon as he looks to be in the video.

I'm just finally getting my head around posting on this here blog. I almost forgot how it works... Wha? I have to actually type something of interest? Nah, how about I just post a few random photos from our recent trip to Grandma's house at Twin Lakes. We had such a great time and Jon & I even got away for a hike, just the two of us. WEEEEEE! More photos here.

Jake & his Auntie Kat

Jon and his "catch"

Chudleyvision Turned 3

2009-08-06T20:02:00.000-07:00

... two days ago. I've been a wee bit preoccupied with pirates and fat lips and such. This is the first photo I uploaded of Jake for my very first post. [sniff]

Happy belated birthday of sorts to my sweet little blog. [cueing hallmark muzac]

We've been through A LOT. Leaky boobs, a mucus plug or two, crying, screaming, faces melting and other wonderful moments. Ah, the memories. Misty water yada yada. You know where I'm going and I'm nice enough to spare you. maybe....

super hero

2009-08-06T13:45:00.000-07:00

Let me introduce you to the Caped Pirate Crusader [ARRRRHHH] who is using his thumb of doom to take down Helmet Man. (Note karate moves even though he's never seen or been taught karate in his life... that I know of. Just curious, why is it that boys do this?)

I give you Helmet Man, the Caped Pirate Crusaders naughty nemesis [muaa aaa aaa aaaa]. Yes, both Dracula and Helmet Man are allowed to say the same thing. Bam! Boom! Pow! CRASH!

Looks like we're staying in L.A.

2009-07-27T14:28:00.000-07:00

We just heard we finally got our offer accepted by the bank in a property short sale. Said property being our dream home and said offer happened to get accepted on Jonathan's 38th birthday. YAAAAAY! I feel like the Jeffersons aside from the fact that we're not moving to the eastside or into a delux apartment in the sky and other obvious reasons (trying to be pc here).
Ok, not a very good comparison. Still though, you know you have the theme song stuck in your head now so why not indulge in watching this little video here. C'mon, it'll be therapeutic.